Zoanthropy.

2012.

2012-01-14T03:06:00.006+08:00

It is awfully fast how time flies.

&how so many things could happen so quickly - too many to even count.

Somehow, everyone is moving forward with their lives and I feel like I am still stuck in the past. To be honest, I am proud of them :) wish I could do the same. I guess I could, I just don't try hard enough. It is silly I know to feel that the whole world have been against me for these past few months. I literally disappeared for a while. Nobody really knows my story, I guess cause I don't want anyone to know - don't want anyone to think that I am asking for any attention or even to pity me, the more I tell people my story, the more it would spread, the more backstabbing I would get - no thanks lol. Doubt that anyone would really listen to me or even want to know anyway. It would just be a waste of time for me and them. So here I am, little good ol' Tiffany (not so "little", way far from "little" actually), blogging again after a long time. Don't think anyone would even read this, thank God, wouldn't want to drown anyone in my thoughts.

I had a few friends that know what was happening to me in August but not many knew what happened from November onwards. There is one thing that I am glad about tho - I am going to start studying again :) It's about time, I think I haven't been studying for 2 years now. :\ God knows if I would survive. It's sad to know how many friends that I had lost while I went through what I had went through for these past few months. I know it was my fault, and I know I should do something about it but sometimes, I just don't know what to say. Everytime I want to call or even text any one of my friends, I get stuck, thinking that they might not even reply or it might be super awkward. Believe me, I am like this because I had encountered really awkward moments when I bumped into some of my friends. I mean, when I think of it I thought, "Nah, how could it be awkward, we had been friends for so long and we been through so much!", so I would say hi whenever I see someone I really know but usually, most of the time, crickets would be the main title for our conversations. If I try harder to make things alright, things usually don't -.- lol. From now on, I think I will just wave at anyone that I know and walk off, things would be better. I even feel a little awkward talking to my best friend, so CAN YOU IMAGINE?!!! @#$*%#!! Don't know what's wrong with me. I guess I am too used to my friends calling and texting me cause I usually don't have transport around, no point becoming the one planning things lol. Things are different now tho. Oh, but I will be driving soon, SOON :\

Changed my number, not sure if anyone cares, so I didn't tell anyone except for my family and the ones that asked.

Christmas and New Year's was good, celebrated at home - just the way I like it :)

Shit, sometimes I think I am 50 years old. Even my brother would prefer going out.

Can't wait for CNY tho! Food, glorious FOOD.

Bye for now, in need of sleep. xx.

2011-09-19T04:51:00.004+08:00

allaboutyourheart.

2011-04-04T07:31:00.019+08:00

"I thought I could never get you, yet I tried and I'm not giving up."

It've been way too long!

Only a couple of months yet so many things had happened.

But no, I'm not studying yet lol. My mom has been forcing me to make a decision. It's a little annoying cause she told me to think carefully on what I want to do and yet she is rushing me at the same time. Just to stay here in Malaysia (I know I'm stupid to be wanting to stay here in Msia), I will take up Psychology. Wanted to go Sunway but mom is telling me to go for HELP. A little far but should be fine if I have a car. Could tell that she was really happy. Even if I'm not going out of Malaysia, atleast I'm doing a course that is more educational than Graphics. Oh well, mothers and their instinct. I might be a real good psychologist in the future. :)

Was attending a portfolio workshop in La Salle College of Arts, Singapore. 2 weekends. It was somewhat fun. I never knew I suck at drawing, never knew that I was THAT bad at it haha.

Thanks to Neeru for the henna.

xx.

warning;emopostalert.

2011-01-02T12:30:00.011+08:00

2011.

Shit, what?

It doesn't feel like it's a New Year at all. I feel odd, like other than feeling that a new year is here, felt like I'm back to the very beginning of 2010. I don't feel excited. I don't feel happy. I'm not feeling anything. Ergh, what the hell is wrong with me?

I went down to Toronto, about 4hours away from here, Ottawa.
Stayed in some family friend's house. They went for vacation. Oh my goodness gracious, I love their house! They actually have a hugeeeeee, Christmas tree. Had totally cheered me up. I don't know why, I love seeing Christmas trees and deco. Reminds me that people actually DO celebrate Christmas and TRIES making the environment colorful & fun. Well, there is a fake mini tree here in Ottawa too lol. Went down to downtown on Christmas eve. Thought that I will be staying there for New Year's countdown. I don't mind, cause it's beautiful there! Lights everywhere and a huge stage for God-knows-what. Makes me feel like it's NYC.

But no, we just had to go home. Which is fine too, I guess. :\ At first, they only wanted my youngest cousin to go home, Priscilla (I call her Mushi tho). They wanted her to take the subway home, alone. Then they changed their minds, duh. They wouldn't even let her walk to school alone, why would they let her use the subway right. So I thought, oh maybe they just doesn't want Mushi to be home late. Then when I was talking to mushi, she told me that actually, they wanted her to go home cause they want to have some private family time between the 4 of them (Mushi, my other elder cousin, my aunt and my uncle), er, ouch much? I mean, aren't we (me & my brother) your family too? This happened once, when the whole family went down to Toronto without me and my brother (my uncle had to stay back too cause of his work) cause my aunt want some family alone time. Oh and even once before that, we had to leave Toronto early cause she wants to have some alone time with her son. Sigh, it's making me feel really bad being here. I already felt left out in the first place, now even my "family" makes me feel this way. Doesn't make me feel any better. I guess they have their own good reasons anyway. :)

I'm going home soon, & I can't wait! This so-called vacation had made me realized a lot of things. Too many, in fact.

My mom thinks that I would want to live here or the states even more now that I've experienced it. Funny thing is, that is not true. Me, myself thought that I would do that very same thing - thinking that I might want to study here or in US. The more I live here, the more I loathe here. It's like, the more I'm here, the more things I would find that I wouldn't like. I'm really disappointed. Not sure on myself, or my experience here. Maybe even both.

I'm bloody stressed now too cause I have to pack my luggage bag and just found out that I could only take ONE bag, 20kg. WTF FTW FML. I was happily packing TWO huge luggage bags before going down to Toronto. But yeah, I'm so stressed now that I'm just drinking Monster energy drink and ranting here. Pathetic, but this is actually helping me to relax haha.

That boy grr, that bloody boy. Is seriously killing me. Tried believing him, but seriously not working. I feel so used, like as if I'm his private importer or something and yet I'm doing nothing about it. That's the awesome thing about me - I'm lazy to do something about relationships. Even if I know I would end up heart broken. Only at the very last minute, I would do something about it. I might do something about it when I'm home tho. When I have my friends to force me. ;) Only those close to me know what I'm talking about lol. &it's super weird that almost every guy I met, would be friends with atleast ONE of my exs. What a small world this is (Well, Malaysia is lol).

I'm into House music now, & oh God, I've forgotten how much I loved Sean Paul. I'm back in loving him!

I think this is my longest post so far. Well, longest that I've typed in Canada.

Happy New Year everyone!

xx.

thatboy.

2010-12-25T05:08:00.001+08:00

& eventhough he is an ass, he is a good use for entertainment. ;)

xx.

24hours.

2010-12-21T13:19:00.002+08:00

I knew that you would lose interest in me after 24 hours.

xx.

iheartleather.

2010-12-17T17:54:00.006+08:00

Me, crazy with the balls that were connected to my beanie.

Finally I'm done with my new blogskin!
Have been editing this for about 3 hours. The coding is so confusing.
Literally had a headache. Thank God Julia is talking to me on Skype, if not I would probably fall asleep infront of the comp like I always do haha.

I'm happy with it! (:

Shall update another time, I'm super tired.
PS; Julia just reminded me how much I love leather shoes.
Gotta buy one soon! Converse. ♥

xx.

lovehim.

2010-12-14T23:12:00.002+08:00

xx.

difference.

2010-12-10T17:40:00.000+08:00

xx.

2010-12-10T17:38:00.003+08:00

xx.

2010-11-30T02:59:00.000+08:00

Don't think I know what love is.

xx.

2010-11-28T10:06:00.003+08:00

I. AM.

.ASS.

A HUGE ASS.

I have short hair now, & yes, because of it, I look fatter. I KNOW.

I must admit that I've gain weight too, fuck my life.

Lzy.

2010-11-20T12:05:00.005+08:00

I have been lazy for these past few days.

Oh, just realized that I spelled my title wrong, but I guessed that you guys would know what the actual word is, lol.

Yes, I'm still in Florida but I will be back in Canada by the 30th of November, sadly.
I like it here, why? Cause I actually could be myself. Be whatever I want, or whoever I want. It is different, back in Canada. I had to control myself. Watch every move I myself make and watch every word I say. I feel, somehow, freedom here. Yes, people are still going to judge me, but atleast they are not my family.

I know, in my life, for those who knows me well enough, knows that I don't give a shit about anyone that judge me. I live life the way I want and I don't give two fucks about it. I'm still that same person, but it's not the same theory when it comes to my family, people that are ACTUALLY related to me. (Except for some, but those that I don't really know, I behave) I don't want them to think that my mom didn't bring up a good kid, I don't want them to think that I would influence their children into doing bad things, I definitely don't want them to think that I don't know how to think.

So yeah, there I was, trying to behave the best I could and sometimes, just sometimes, I feel like I could burst. I'm like a balloon, if there is too much air in me, I would burst. There are too many things for me to think about when I'm there, I need to think about everything beforehand.
Fuck it, I love skittles.

I'm sorry I haven't been updating my blog much, but I have been updating my tumblr though. Not about much but just reblogging on the things that I like and my recent hairstyle. ;)

I thought I needed a makeover and I was right. I feel much better now, after chopping my hair off. I feel fresh and as if old and bad memories had all went off with those hair that had been chopped (Somewhere in some dump.).

Will update soon with pictures.

xx.

Stars.

2010-11-07T03:59:00.001+08:00

Sang a song, I know that I'm not a great singer but it's just for you guys, hehe.

Enjoy! Comment & rate if you'd like. (:

xx.

A Little Something.

2010-11-05T04:31:00.003+08:00

add me up on my new YouTube Channel; http://www.youtube.com/tiffyzoanthropy
I might upload more videos soon, might. So you could subscribe to me to get updates. (:

xx.

listen.

2010-10-26T13:56:00.002+08:00

Changed my blogskin, finally!
Was lazy to start from scratch, so I used someone else's basecode, credited her tho. (:
Other than that, I found the pictures and everything else myself. Edited a little here and a little there. I'm not really satisfied yet but I shall continue editing tomorrow. :D I'm tired now, it have been a REALLYYY long day. Went shopping like mad. I feel so badddd, I seriously should resist. O.O BUT IT'S TOO HARD TO RESIST; I am officially a shopaholic, who said I wasn't even one already in the first place. ;) hahaha.

Will charge up my camera and snap some pics on what I've bought!

;Currently addicted to reading Stephen King's novel, Hearts in Atlantis. ♥

xx.

cause i'm a gypsy.

2010-10-15T12:16:00.006+08:00

Are You Coming with Me?
I might steal your clothes and wear them if they fit me.

I'm addicted to Gypsy by Shakira, I know it's a little old but I've never liked that song.
But eversince I've watched Ugly Betty, and that song was played on this really sweet scene between Betty and Matt; I. am. hooked.

Anyway,
Canada have been fineee, it's still Autumn (duh) but it's getting colder.
I'm in an attempt on folding a thousand of cranes but I got bored and sidetracked to folding flowers instead. :D I must say, those flowers that I've fold looks way prettier and more interesting than those cranes. But cranes are somehow, cuter. I guess.

OHHH,
I went to visit Shadhin (my very first college friend since last year that transferred to Canada, unlike me, being slow and slacky.). She is now in University of Trent, Peterborough. It is about 2-3hours away from here, depends on traffic and the route you take. It was fun to finally see her and I met all her friends. Well, technically, not all but some. :) I hope I will be able to see her soon!

I am super duper happy that I had 2 thanksgiving dinners this year! I never really celebrated thanksgiving before, so I guess this is a lucky year (touch-the-freaking-wood, I know.) but yeah, I heard that Canada's thanksgiving date and in the states are different. So I am having another thanksgiving dinner with my sister when I'm in Florida next month! :D SHOOT, I've just realized that I have to go this soon already. Damn it. I don't really like to be on the plane on my own. :\

I've been lifelessly bored for this couple of days that I am hooked on TV series.
YES I WATCH ONLINE, unlike you rich people that could buy original DVDs to watch. (I'm sorry if I offended anyone, lol.) Now I'm just waiting for Gossip Girl's and Glee's new episodes to be out. Well, one by one, I'm not going to wait for a month for 3 or more episodes to be out, I'm going to watch right away on the same day that it's out! Yes, I'm THAT impatient. So now I'm just going to be sticking with Ugly Betty. ;) I find her really inspirational though. She is not really ugly, hell, she is not ugly at all. But she IS considered ugly in the fashion world.

Now that I'm not in love with anyone and that my ex is now in love with someone else but I find it funny cause I broke up with him about 2 weeks back and he told me that I'm the only love of his life no matter what happens, boys will always be boys yeah? haha, THAT was inappropriate. As I was saying, I am sooooo falling for celebrities. Well, not really in love like some crazy maniac but like just little crushes, I have totally forgotten how much fun it would be to just look at the character in the series/movie and go, "awwwww" or something, lol.

Okay, I'm talking too much now.

xx.

why are guys...

2010-10-03T00:59:00.002+08:00

xx.

random.

2010-10-02T02:18:00.001+08:00

for no one,
not at this particular moment.

xx.

i'vegotthe.

2010-10-01T22:40:00.004+08:00

magic in me.

xx.

itwasgood.

2010-10-01T10:22:00.002+08:00

while it lasted.

&it have just ended.

xx.

converselover.

2010-09-28T00:52:00.005+08:00

Jon would be proud.
HAHA.

xx.

omg,icantsayomg.

2010-09-27T23:19:00.009+08:00

"Oh my God"
Stop it.
"Jesus"
Shut up.
"Oh Lord"
Enough!

So yeah, I couldn't say His name in vain.
Well, not in this house anyway. I have got to respect them both, and God of course.
Yes, my aunt and uncle are pastors.
But I did admit it to them that it is going to be hard for me to stop saying those sentences,
cause I say them ALL THE TIME.
I told them that I will try my best. :)

xx.

DiGi iPhone 4 Real.

2010-09-27T23:02:00.003+08:00

What I love about the DiGi iPhone 4 Plans;

I have been using DiGi for almost my whole life. So it will be easier for me change my number to iDiGi postpaid, cause currently, I'm using prepaid. Now that I'm in Canada, I admit, I haven't been using my phone and I think it's expired. But I will active it when I'm back home in Malaysia. :) I personally prefer postpaid cause I do not have to reload every single time I'm out of credit. (Yes, I use my phone, A LOT.) But if I were about to switch to any of the iDiGi postpaid plans, I would definitely choose iDiGi 238 because I love that I would only need to pay RM158 after auto billing and could talk for 1,000 minutes! Plus, I love to text and to randomly MMS pictures to my friends. So I guess this package would suit me the best. I get bored easily while waiting for an appointment or even just a friend, the 5GB internet would certainly help me with my boredom or even when I'm in my classes, because I google most of the time.

DiGi iPhone 4 Play.

2010-09-27T20:43:00.003+08:00

Which App from the iTunes App Store that I have seen/tried out is my favourite, and why;

My fav App is the one for Cooks. Why? Cause I like cooking and I definitely love Jamie Oliver's recipes. I could easily scroll through my iPhone when I'm in need of a meal for my family or even just for myself. Especially for special occasions, from New Years to Thanksgiving to Birthdays. It is even better to know that I could plan a whole dinner party using that app!

beenwalking.

2010-09-25T13:30:00.003+08:00

Hee, it's Autumn!

I love the view here.
In that picture.

My aunt and uncle dropped me off to this beach,
I walked around, sat on rocks, read a book, splashed some water.
It's so peaceful. Even when it rained middle of no where.
It's better that way, no one was there except for me. &my ipod.
Yes, I took that picture by myself. Just set the camera on some pole. :)

I can't believe that the grass is so green here! I can just roll around without getting stains on my shirt or something. Except if it rains, ofcourse.

I walked my cousin to school today. I don't really find the point of it cause she practically ran all the way and I couldn't catch up. -.- Just saw her went in her school gate from a distance and turned around to walk back, haha. I shall run with her the next time!

I regret scratching my face, damnit. Now I have a scar on my face. Grr.

I'm about to participate in a competition to win an iPhone 4. :) I really need a new phone rightnow. But the thing is, it's in Malaysia. Thank God that this is an online thing. So I could ask my mom to collect it (IF I even win). Hopefully I will!

xx.

DiGi iPhone 4 Me.

2010-09-25T01:35:00.003+08:00

Why I want an iPhone 4;

Firstly, I'm in NEED of a new phone. My poor phone looks like it had been abused -wasn't my fault! The skin of the phone was all peeled because of the heat of the sun. Plus my phone lags a whole lot. My friend had an iPhone 4 and she had so many songs and messages in it but still it doesn't lag - probably cause of it's faster processor.

Secondly, I love to record videos and take photos but I never had a good camera for my phone for me to bring it around with me everywhere I go so that I could just swing out my phone to actually take a good picture. I travel a lot, and I'm currently in Canada visiting my aunt and uncle. I have a Sony Erickson camera but it is bulky and I can't bring it with me for jogs or hiking - where usually I don't bring anything along except for my iPod and a bottle of water. It's sad because I see so many beautiful views but never get to capture them!

Thirdly, the iPhone 4 have iMovie software that allows me to edit videos after recording them. I don't have a Macbook but lots of my friends does and I usually borrow their laptop just for this software, I find this software really easy to use and I could do so much with it. Way easier than Adobe After Effects, definitely. But of course, Adobe After Effects could do much more.

Lastly, now that I'm in a country that is sometimes cold and sometimes hot, I would really love having the weather feature that is on the iPhone 4. It would be really useful for me, other than turning on the TV all the time just to check for the weather news channel. :)

Well, that's it for me and here is the awesome iPhone 4 DiGi BADGE! ♥

xx.

35randomfactsaboutme.

2010-09-25T01:27:00.000+08:00

I'm going to copy and paste this from Facebook. :)

Before you read what I'm about to reveal to you..

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note

with 35 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.

At the end, choose 15 people to be tagged.

You have to tag the person who tagged you.

If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page,

paste these instructions in the body of the note,

type your 35 random things, tag 15 people then click publish.

1. I have never had a goal in my life.

2. I drink way too many juice boxes.

3. I am in an attempt at learning piano.

4. I want each side of my room's wall in the future be - Brown, Green, Red & Blue.

5. I wish I had a religion to believe in, I've been too stubborn.

6. I prefer hanging out with people younger than me cause I know that they wouldn't talk about the future or work - which I currently suck at. Both talking about it and doing anything about it. (If they DID talk about the future, it would include rainbows and gummybears lol)

7. I like orchestras. I know I don't look like one who does.

8. I like to match colors but I wouldn't mind contrast.

9. I just ate lasagna and I'm having my 5th juicebox.

10. Always wanted an old camera. Or a Holga.

11. I don't seem to talk to my friends a lot nowadays cause I don't want to miss them or home. Eventhough it doesn't seem like it's working.

12. I had a walk around the canal yesterday and I realized how actually beautiful the world is.

13. I am a very superstitious person.

14. I like having colorful nails. Makes me happy, somehow.

15. Music is my only friend here in Canada.

16. I'm so blur that I just noticed that I only have posted 15 random things about me so I'm going to edit now and post 20 more (damnit). haha.

17. I find the sentence, "I Love You", overrated.

18. Red Roses & Tiger Lilies.

19. I miss my mom.

20. I miss my old self.

21. It's a little hard to earn my trust.

22. I'm easily annoyed.

23. I like kids,...if they approach me first.

haha, yeah, them.

24. I'm crazy about OldTown White Coffee, I just found some here in Canada and it's a MUST for me to at LEAST to have a cup of that a day.

25. I'm a crybaby. Shocker, ey? AHAHA.

26. I'm lazy to post pictures already, lol.

27. Like any typical girl, I love chocolates. Especially plain ones, without fruits or nuts.

28. I never take my own advices that I give to people.

29. I like playing with fire.

30. I plan on getting a tatt - my grandmother's name.

31. I don't have a fixed style. I just wear whatever I like. I know, people usually get confused.

32. You can bribe me with coco-crunch.

33. I like it when I freeze till I couldn't feel my fingers.

34. I'm possessive.

35. I think zombies are awesome.

Yes, I was lifeless to have so many pictures, haha. Don't blame me, blame my boredom.

Tiff.

cannibalism.

2010-09-17T15:50:00.005+08:00

Okay, this might be disturbing and might give you nightmares.
But I just had a random thought.
Yes, about cannibals. haha.

I remember one time when I was in the car with my aunt, uncle, brother & cousin, on the way down to Toronto - 4hours drive.
My cousin was singing, "I love you, you love me, we are a happy family".
&I sang, "I eat you, you eat me, we are a cannibal family".
hahahaha, just a random memory. Sorry for the disturbing picture, heh.
Oh, and that picture, it was from 1557. Scary, much? haha.

xx.

sheshappy.

2010-09-17T10:57:00.004+08:00

♥ The Chorus;
Ain't no need for u to worry
Ain't no need for u to cry
Ain't no need to be discourage
You can see it in her eyes
Don't worry (Don't worry, Don't worry)
Cause she's happy(she's happy, she's happy)

Ain't no need for u to worry
Ain't no need for u to trip
U can tell just by her swagger
That u know shes stacking chips
Don't worry(don't worry... yeeah yeah)
She's happy(She's happy, shes happy)

Somehow, this song makes me happy. :)
I still love Bob Marley's "Don't worry, be happy".

ohno

2010-09-16T12:27:00.007+08:00

I guess I have to be afraid now?

YES I'M IN CANADA PEOPLE.
haha, for about 3 weeks now. :D

I'm actually happy here, away from everyone (well, technically not EVERYONE but atleast away from old memories that I don't want to remember.). It's hard to find myself back in Malaysia. It's hard here too, but a little less harder than back home. Okay, I sound like I'm talking nonsense, I don't even understand what I just said, haha. Find myself means, finding out what I want to do in the future, what exactly I want to study and what exactly I want to be. What my brother told me is true; back in Malaysia, my friends are there to influence me. I wouldn't know what to decide on, I decide on what my friends think, not me. &now that I'm here, I feel lost than ever. Yes, ironically, it's a good thing.

BUTTTT,
I do miss ALL MY FRIENDS. I feel so lifeless here, without them. I miss every single moment I had with them. Sometimes, I wished that I haven't came here. It's like a mistake. But somehow, it's good cause now I know who my true friends are. :) I love you guys, I mean it.

Well,
It's still a little annoying that eventho I'm SO FARAWAY, old memories still haunt me. Stress still followed me here. I'm still thinking a hell lot. I'm trying not to tho. I'm trying to categorize what matters to me and what's not. What's worth thinking, and what's not.
Go away, shoo shoo.

I'm hungry now.

It's about 1 am now, should be 1pm back in Malaysia.
WHY ISN'T ANYONE ONLINE?! :(
Oh well, I guess I'll just be patient and wait.

You, yes you. Don't even think of doing what I think that you're gonna do. I'm sorry, but I'm going to be a bitch this time, your time is over. Your fun is over, so are your games. No one wants you, go away before I get you myself.

xx.

finally.

2010-08-14T19:42:00.002+08:00

finally gotten my chucks! (:

xx.

i care.

2010-08-09T12:43:00.003+08:00

Hi, Mommy. I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a few weeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I've got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I will when I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me your one and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.

You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn't wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already.

Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! ...He wasn't happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don't think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It doesn't make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after, and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I do. It wasn't right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I don't like it, Mommy.

Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you're so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes, and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I'm happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.

I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.

Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn't talking right. He said he didn't want you. I don't know why, but that's what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry, Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won't let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. Daddy is bad. I don't care if you think that he is a good person, I think he's bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn't want us. He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me, Mommy?

You didn't talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?

It's been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven't talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don't you do that when you're awake, any more?

I'm 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait.

...Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared, Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!

Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!

I love you, Mommy.

Every abortion is just…

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you’re against abortion, reblog.

I got this from ; Here, on facebook.
but I think it's originated from ; Here, on deviantart.

I cried reading that.
I even found a poem regarding on abortion,

In silence they speak,
With no words at all,
In silence they scream,
And no answers to their call.

The nearer the fall,
The situations more frightful,
In silence they shout,
What do we care about?

As thier tiny bodies we scorch,
Their cries are so loud,
The precious children yet unborn,
Of which we’re not proud.

Accident is our excuse;
This is a gift from above,
That has not yet begun,
Torn appart by one's misery.

Thoughts race through the youths minds';
Would you want to be killed because your mom was 14?
Would you give up your life just because there wasn't enough to eat?
Would you like to be dead and given no choice at all?

Why murder these babies who did nothing to you?
If you were stupid enough to make one not according to plan.
Don't cover one sin with another,
But let everyone see the mistake that you made.

If you do then you are strong,
For if you murder then they are the pawn,
Why not let these children live long?
Then you can teach them,
the lessons that brought them along.

from ; Here, on deviantart.

xx.

fromthismomentoniknow.

2010-08-07T06:48:00.004+08:00

Exactly where my life will go.

Watched Salt,
&it was good to me! heard from quite a few people that it was predictable and stuff.
it's true, but yet it's still interesting. love the twist of the story by the end of the movie. ;)
oh&Vampires Suck sucks. -.- the movie was a little lame.
I mean, I admit, there are some parts that are funny but when I say some, I do really mean SOME. haha. well, to me. some of you might actually like it. :P but I've seen funnier movies.

Been having Subway for 3 days now, 5 times. O.O
because of David. &now I'm broke. lol.

Ohh, there is gonna be a Dorothy Perkins in Empire!

Sorry,
I'm a little excited. haha. I loveeee Dorothy Perkins.
Infact, the scarf tied around my bag in that photo above was from DP. :D

Watched The Last Airbender too, with Jes. ;)
It was her first time watching a movie in 3D, so a little excited?
Okay, I lied. she was VERY excited. can't blame her, I was exactly like her for my first time too. I broke her virginity for 3D movies. :P wth, lol.

I'm a little stressed out for applying my visa. -.-
I blame no one else but myself, been lazying around.
Now, I have to rush and everything. Oh well...
I'm also thinking hard for a design for my mom's next Event Calendar.
I kinda have an idea of it already. :) not sure if it will turn out great or not tho. :\

xx.

idontthinkicansing.

2010-07-30T18:32:00.003+08:00

okay, don't laugh, I know my voice kinda suck but...
I made this short clip of me singing. I didn't include the video ofcourse, cause I looked weird. haha.

xx.

sickofalltheinsincere.

2010-07-28T06:20:00.006+08:00

So I'm gonna give all my secrets away.

Didn't have any new picture to update with. :\

But I'm just updating about the designs I did for Jes & my mom's college, hee.

those 3 above was for Jes's booth for an event in her college.

The top one was a brochure, front & back.

The bottom two was just posters. :)

this one was for my mom's event management thingy - for her student centre's noticeboard.

all of these designs was done really really last minute.

I think I could've done better if I was given the time. :\

"tiffany loh go to which college"

wth, who wants to know which college I go to? -.-

okay, fine, so I'm a little full of myself for thinking that it's actually for me, haha. someone might have just searched for the wrong Tiffany Loh right. :P

xx.

kauberirasayangberbeda.

2010-07-23T04:40:00.013+08:00

Mungkin kusalah.

Mengartikannya yang kurasa cinta.

Oh yes I'm back again.

To my own surprise, I've been updating quite frequently these days.

Out of boredom I guess. ;)

Met with Herman & Rubnee on Tuesday. Together with Jes. :)

Went Carrefour mamak, Subang Parade, Empire & Pyramid.

Didn't have the chance to snap any pictures tho. :\ forgotten.

Jes stayed over from Monday till Wednesday. :DD

You'd better stayover more often! before I go. So that I wouldn't think too much too, haha.

Went to 1utama with Jes and my brother, for his dentist appointment.

Was stuck in the cybercafe with Jes while waiting for my brother to have a haircut.

I'm addicted to Left 4 Dead 2 now! It's funner to play with friends. :)

Oh, &my brother's friends didn't believe him that I was his sister, haha. :P I don't even look chinese it seems. (Yay?)

We've gotten the MTV WorldStage tickets! How?

Buy XPAX number (if you have one, then you wouldn't have to.) Then message MTV to 28881. Wait for a sms from celcom that says ; "You have registered to get 2 FREE passes for MTV WORLD STAGE 2010 promo. Reload min Em50 to get the mobile voucher NOW! Promo ends 28/7/10. While passes last." Reload RM50 after that & just wait for your mobile voucher. I collected mine from T.T.D.I, Damansara Jaya. You would have to call to get their full address, but to make things easier for you guys, it is at; 96, 2nd Floor, Jalan Burhanuddin Helmi, T.T.D.I, Damansara. Yes, it is a shop lot. Same row as CIMB, Standard Chartered & Public Bank. Just upstairs of 7 Eleven. :) Hope I helped & all the best!

Went to Pyramid today with Jane. :)

Watched Despicable Me! The little girl is so cute!

; "It's so fluffy I'm gonna die! IT'S SO FLUFFYYYYYY!"

&the minions are so stupid yet adorable, haha.

Great movie. If I was to rate the movie, it's 10 out of 10.

She wrote a short fan fic on her blog, should check it out.

It's good for a first timer. ;)

click me!

Oh yeah & I'm definitely back!

Not gonna cry over spilled milk.

Come to think of it, he doesn't care anyway. So, why should I?

Like you said, a waste of time, isn't it?

(Not complaining, not backstabbing, just saying.)

Addicted to Kukatakan Dengan Indah by Peterpan.

Yes, my post's title was on it. :) It is my fav line.

Kau beri rasa yang berbeda, mungkin kusalah. Mengartikannya yang kurasa cinta.

Direct ;

You gave feeling that different, maybe I'm wrong. Interpret that I feel love.

Translation ;

You gave me a different feeling, maybe I'm wrong. That I felt love.

Should listen to the whole song;

Kukatakan dengan indah dengan terbuka. Hatiku hampa sepertinya luka menghampirinya. Kau beri rasa yang berbeda, mungkin kusalah. Mengartikannya yang kurasa cinta. Tetapi hatiku selalu meninggikanmu, terlalu meninggikanmu, selalu meninggikanmu. Membuatku terjatuh dan terjatuh lagi. Membuatku merasakan yang telah terjadi. Semua yang terbaik dan yang terlewati. Semua yang terhenti tanpa kuakhiri. Kau hancurkan hatikan, hancurkan lagi. Kau hancurkan hatiku, tuk melihatmu. Kau terangi jiwaku, kau redupkan lagih. Kau hancurkan hatiku, tuk melihatmu. Kau hancurkan hatiku, tak tertahan lagi. Kau hancurkan hatiku, tuk melihatmu

xx.

imhappy.

2010-07-18T19:13:00.004+08:00

atleast I'm trying.

I don't get how someone would have the heart to do such things.

She have helped you so much, she was there for you.

Tell her what she did not do?

She was there when you're pissed, when you're down.

She was there when you were thinking about your grandfather.

She was there when you had no money.

She was there when you were hungry, & she actually bought food for you.

She was there when you didn't have the credit, & she was worried that you couldn't make emergency calls out so she reloaded for you.

She was there even when you weren't talking to her, she waits for you.

You get pissed when she don't reply you, but the only time when she didn't reply was when she was sleeping.

You get pissed when she says something wrong.

But don't you ever think of her feelings as well?

You rarely reply her.

You don't care when she is pissed at something, you just went on like nothing happened.

&yet it doesn't matter to her, she still cares for you.

but now, she have to find out about something.

Something she should've known but she still took the risk to love you.

She thought you were mature enough to not be the person that you are.

She didn't think that you would be an ass.

She didn't know that you chat with other girls as well.

She didn't know that you have got scandals.

She didn't know that you are playing with her.

I didn't know.

Thanks for everything, thanks for reminding me that most guys out there are still assholes.

That most guys out there are just like my dad and you.

&if you really love me,

you would chase after me.

But I guess I'm nothing to you.

So, fuck it.

____________________________________________

excuse my emotional post,

just had to let it out, I don't know what or how to feel,

to cry or to laugh.

So yeah,

now I'm happier to go Canada & US.

I need this trip, to forget about the past and think about my future.

I know I might sound so cliche saying this, but;

&to heal my broken heart. (a-freaking-gain)

Let bygones be bygones.

&I shall learn from my mistakes,

that is not to be vulnerable.

Great, now that most of you know, don't go taking advantage of me.

haha.

Have been lifeless at home,

sleep, watch movies, sleep.

ohh, but I really loved the movie, She's Out of My League.

Really sweet. :) because of that movie,

I'm addicted to She's So High Above Me by Everclear / Tal Bachman.

originally by Tal Bachman I think. Everclear's lead singer's voice is deeper tho. ;)

I missed that song, the last I heard it was when I was a kid, literally.

Now all I want to do,

is to hangout with my girls. :)

Hope they would have the time for me,

cause all of them seem to be busy these days.

But no rush right, I'm only going in a month's time.

&coming back in 5 months. Not a big deal.

haha, I know I sound sarcastic, but seriously, it's no big deal. -.-

Just tighten my braces (finally).

&the dentist said; "Nightmare, nightmare".

Didn't tighten my braces since October '09. :\

I'm feeling irritated by the pain now.

Plus I think I'm having a slight headache because of it, lol.

Downloading Toystory 3 now! :D

xx.

everythingmeansnothing,

2010-07-16T02:38:00.007+08:00

if I ain't got you.

{oh c'mon, follow it's smile. :D}

heyy strangers, or people that I actually know. :)

it's 3am now & I'm suppose to be in bed,

but I couldn't sleep. Plus, I've got work tomorrow, damnit.

Thought of wearing baju kurung to work tomorrow, but it was too see-thru - rude to wear it that way.

So I'm stuck. Oh! and I'm suppose to help my mom to design the college that she is managing's brochure.

But the thing is, her boss like the color GREEN.

Geez, I don't know what to do. I mean, yeah, it's environment friendly and all (eventhough technically it's not because they're wasting paper, haha). I don't really like that color. :\

I will try.

GAHH.

So yeah,

I'm working for my mom's college,

ITJ College / Kolej ITJ.

DON'T google it up, the most you get about it are complaints.

Believe me, I tried. It was under a different management the last time.

My mom just started working in this college, so I guess things are getting better for them? :)

Back to me (haha), I'm working as a receptionist.

Yes, I pick up calls and transfer them to people.

It's a little confusing because I didn't know which call to transfer to who.

& didn't know who is incharge of what. But I did quite a good job, I must say.

Lol, perasan, I know.

Oh, c'mon, give me a break, it's my first ACTUAL job in an OFFICE, with an OFFICIAL paycheck. haha, not like some normal job that I do for my mom.

Frankly, I was, a) my mom's personal assistant - did some paperwork for her when I'm free, made coffee for her, escorted people that wanted to see her in her office. b) designer - I was given the opportunity to design their brochure. c) the hopeless receptionist that didn't know much. haha.

MTV Worldstage,

I really want to go, but the freaking website contest thingy was just testing my patience. -.-

Seriously, I have waited for so long, and have refreshed my page like a GAZILLION times.

I. Don't. See. Anything. or, Gotten. Anything.

So I guess I'll try other ways. Nice of me, cause I'm gonna share the two ways. :D

oh, the first way that I'm about to share is gonna be expired by 12pm, today. LOL. sorry.

check it out anyway, http://klue.com.my/articles/3264-MTV-World-Stage-Live-in-Malaysia-passes-up-for-grabs.

2nd, I'm DEFINITELY going to pyramid this weekend. MTV is having a roadshow and we could try our luck to get the tickets. ;) from 12pm - 6pm. On the 17th & 18th.

I have a dental appointment this Saturday, in Damansara Jaya, so I thought I could go 1 Utama later, but I guess not. I'm going to SUNWAY PYRAMID.

&yes, I love you.

You know who you are, now that I know you actually read my blog.

Hopefully you're reading this though, haha.

ahyeahla.

Finals,

All the best to all the ADTP students for their finals! (Sunway Uni only kay. :P)

Time passed by so fast and now the next sem is so close by and many of you seniors are going overseas already. Ah, I would know that feeling if I'd continue with the course. But I was in my 5th sem, so I kinda got the idea of it. haha.

I miss budak ni like mad!

Yes Athirah, I'm talking about you.

haha, &yes I remembered your birthday, don't worry.

&no, it's not because you reminded me on twitter. ish. -.-

Think about your finals! jgn nak gedik about your birthday. :P hahaha.

I miss my orange hair too.

How many times have a mentioned it? haha.

xx.

erduensom.

2010-07-09T09:44:00.006+08:00

uden mig?

{are you lonely, without me?}

Hohoho,

I'm back fast this time! :D

I've got nothing to blog about, YET.

I'll wait till tomorrow. :) A farewell dinner for my brother.

&ofcourse, his friends and mine are invited.

can't wait! plus, Neeru kinda hinted something to me yesterday,

about an outing after the dinner? ngee. :D really?? haha.

I miss my college friends, it's weird without them.

been with them since the first sem - first day everrr. haha. :)

(ATHIRAH, you'd better be in the picture next time around!)

&who changed the most? ; me. -.-

oh, &jay! we both had a drastic hair color change. :D

jamie dyed her hair too, just not as drastic, haha.

c'mon shadhin, do something about your curly hair! ;)

&YESSS,

I do miss this girl!

Jeswena Kaur Chahil a/p Jagjit Singh

I don't know how am I gonna survive in Canada without my friends.

I'm afraid.

A random picture in Sonia's place;

I've never seen that side of me before, literally, my face. haha.

A little over excited? (Was waiting for the match between Spain & Paraguay, can't blame me. ;) )

; This is an awesome song. It's Danish. Jeswena introduced it to me. &i'm in love. with the song, ofcourse. :) The translation from Danish to English is there on the YouTube page.

xx.

ithoughtoflovingyou.

2010-07-02T17:44:00.007+08:00

Oh, & I am. ;)

Rawr! I'm back. :D

&I've got loadsssssssss to update!

Firstly,

I'm not in college anymore. :)

I feel so uneducated, haha.

it's for my own good anyway. my mom finally realize that I didn't like what I was studying.

I mean, I don't mind Psychology being my major. I am interested in observing people's behavior & studying human emotions or something.

but the thing is, I'm not a sciencey (lol) person. I don't like studying about the brains, nerves or things like that. Eventho I know very well that is related to all the disorders that I'm gonna study later on. :\

so my mom told me to stop, for now.

I might or might not continue ADTP.

You know why? Will soon tell. ;)

Now.

Canada & the states,

YES I'M GOING BABYYYYY.

I'm not really excited, but at the same time, I am.

What am I crapping?

But yeah, I'm excited/scaredshitless cause I'm going to Florida (my sister's place) from Canada, alone. &coming back alone to Malaysia too. :\ Crap.

I don't usually do this things aloneeeeee. My mom told me that I have to learn how to be independent. -.- when I want to be independent, I get screwed. &now when I don't want to be, she let's me, grr.

Anyway, I still would have to go. Have to find for a good uni there. :)

If not, I'm gonna study in Singapore (wtf?). I'd prefer to stay in Malaysia, but knowing my mom, never in a million years.

Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind Singapore, it's closer to here. But I would need to think about it.

I'm coming back in 5-6months. :D anyone need me to buy anything from there? I could help.

Love(?),

yeah, a HUGEEEE bolded question mark, haha.

He is someone different. Godknows what would happen to us.

Not official, but it's definitely something. ;)

Friends,

I'm gonna miss them! Now that I'm missing them already, I'm gonna miss them more when I go. :\ somehow, 5-6months is a short period of time to me, but when Sonia sarcasticly said "Riiight seems very short right" &vanna, "5-6 months is a long period ok?"

that was when I noticed that it IS a long period of time. damnit.

but I will never forget you guys! It's not like I'm going for years, I'm coming back. :)

then only going back there for years. D: haha.

we'll worry about that later on, kays? ;)

We should have a small gathering.

Just all the 8 of us;

♥ Jeswena.

♥ Sonia.

♥ Jane.

♥ Kristin.

♥ Amanda.

♥ Von.

♥ Neeru.

♥ Vanna.

♥ &myself. :)

I miss my sister,

it's my idea to go over to the states to visit her from Canada. :D

that's all for now,

gonna watch Spain vs Germany later!

xx.

ican'tbreathe.

2010-06-20T03:28:00.013+08:00

without you, but I had to.

a continuation from my title (again).

"Been jealous for far too many times now,

stop it Tiffany!"

I'm back yet again, sooner than I thought tho. ;)
It's 3.35am now, &i can see Jes sleeping on the chair, while the TV watches her instead for the other way round.

Jes,
she have been so stressed for these few months (or less) and I feel bad that I couldn't really be there for her, in person. On the phone, yes but it's better to be there for her physically (Please don't think dirrty).

I just can't take it that she have to go through all these drama and yet have to finish up her assignments, godknows how is she feeling now. She might look fine on the outside, but on the inside, it is a whole different story.

&I still can't believe her friend dragged me into their problem, this have got to do with you two, what is it gotta do with me? I've known her longer than you, yes but that doesn't mean that I'm better than you or she loves me more or something. If you are a good friend to her, she would treat you the same, but too bad, you're a terrible friend, you couldn't get the same treatment.

So don't go comparing me to you or anyone else. Thankyou.

College,
it have been stressful too.
Short sem, I couldn't expect any less.
A little of college drama, that's all.
(Not that I want more. God, no.)

It's fun,
that Dahuhaas are back with more new videos.
http://www.youtube.com/DaHuHaaS
Might be a little lame & a little funny, haha. ;)
Check it out, rate and subscribe. Thanks!
________________________________________
i'm falling for you, but i'm not letting myself to.
i'm not good for you, & you're not good for me.

untilyoufinallylovesomeone,

2010-06-05T04:22:00.007+08:00

tomorrow never comes.

just a continuation from my title.

Rawr, I'm back again. :)

&yes, I've got a whole lot to update about, but I'm a little lazy right now, haha.

My birthday,

that was on the 22nd of May was really fun,

it is one of those memories that I would never forget. (I'm not exaggerating)

A trip to Port Dickson was a surprise. Plus a Penis Cake, literally.

Thanks to David, Jeswena, Julia, ChuuKhai, PeiLing, Athirah and Suresh that came.

&of course, the master minds behind this was David and Jes. :) I love you guys.

&for everyone else that wished me and that gave me presents. Thankyou.

For those who haven't added me in Facebook, please do, if you want to see the pictures.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=180177&id=523138521

Anyhow,

I was nearly terminated from my course in college. Well, I was terminated, but the head gave me a 2nd chance. But at first, I had another option, my mom's boss gave me a full scholarship for free to study in Malacca. Now that I'm back in the program, I guess that option is out, damnit. Thought I could getaway from here for a while. Oh well, I would be going to US soon enough if I get through this course with flying colors anyway (haha).

Oh yesss,

I've dyed my hair dark brown, but it is more to black. The stylist told me that the color would fade after a few days and my hair would be a little brighter. BULLSHIT. I've washed it like mad. As a matter in fact, I scrubbed it like mad. &my hair is still as dark as ever. I miss my orange hair. :(

Oh and,

I've been to the orphanage since the holidays have started.

&now that the holidays have ended for us (David & I),

we go on every Friday. :)

Oh yeah, and this is David;

I don't know why was he looking at me with that face, haha.

_____________________________________________________________

I don't want to be in love, no, not anymore.

needachange.

2010-04-18T01:40:00.014+08:00

It have been a goddamn long time since I've blogged.

&far too many things had happened.

I won't say much here tho. I don't feel comfortable. (:

College?

It have been fun but tiring. Cause now that my dad started working, I've to go to college earlier and come back late. But I really had fun. :D

My really close friends in college. ♥

Jamie, Shadhin & Jay.

Tira! ♥ her!

Went to Fly.FM for an assignment. :D

they forced us to do this!

Friends?

Everyone's busy with their own things.

But I seriously appreciate those that was there for me after what happened.

Evon, that came straight to my house.

Amanda, that straight took me mamaking.

Athirah, that came straight in the morning to see me.

Jane, that straight called me to see how I was.

Sonia, that called me too.

and my new friend, Herman, that was there for me throughout the whole thing.

(yes, eventho he didn't know what to say. haha.)

Thanks for others that cared. ♥

Met with this feller;

Camerashy, konon!

Yeah, that's Herman. haha.

He can't get fat, & I'm jealous. -.-

I'm camerashy too! :P
took by him.

That's all I'm going to say here. (:

Rightnow, I'm keeping myself busy and try not to think of anything.

But the saddest thing is that, I can't keep this up for long.

My semester break is coming. -.- and I'm definitely going to break down.

Oh well, life goes on.

I miss hanging out with you guys;

I miss mamaking with her;

I miss everyone.

When can all of us get together again? Never?

I love my leather jacket. (:

_______________________________________________________

Why are you so hard to understand?

I don't know how to make you happy when you're down.

I don't know what to do when you're down.

I tried making you laugh, I tried to make you forget,

But it never worked.

Everything came back at me instead.

You say things that hurt me and you don't know it.

I've just broken up, why can't you be a little understanding?

I want you but I know that we would never be together.

We're just too different & you're in love with someone else.

decisions.

2010-03-16T05:04:00.004+08:00

The Story. (the synopsis is at the bottom of this post.)

Click Me! | My other blog.

YES,

I've opened up another blog especially for my stories. But I don't think I would be updating it as often as here because I've got more random things to say than my fantasy stories that only comes once in a blue moon. (:

xx.

anewstory?

2010-03-05T19:35:00.004+08:00

“My town is in a mess. Everyone is hiding; everyone is afraid – afraid that it might get them as well.”

As Elizabeth entered, Sarah pulled her back.

“I don’t think you should be…” she was telling her,

but she didn’t listen to her and opened the door.

There was blood everywhere. On the white carpet that her mom always vacuumed, on her dad’s favorite chair that he have always sat on to watch football matches till he falls asleep, on the picture frames on the wall with pictures of all of them being happy and even on the piano that she have always played on family gatherings…

What could have happened?

______________________________

I'm writing a new story again. (:

not a continuation of my previous story tho. :/

I wrote this one 2 years back, just found it on my lappie.

hope.

2010-03-05T19:30:00.003+08:00

Is it wrong for me to want to be with someone forever?

Someone that I'm with now?

Is it wrong to think about the future - this young?

I guess its just wrong because the other person is not thinking the same.

slowdancinginaburningroom.

2010-02-25T03:21:00.004+08:00

HAHA.

its funny that the person above is the same as below. (:

hey everyone ! :D

I'm finally backkk. I've too busy with my college and ofcourse, I've got a life. I'm not saying that blogging is lifeless! It was just that I was too busy (:

Valentine's Day?

It was awesome. Went to IKEA and it was SO CROWDED. (Didn't get to eat my meatballs. :( ) So walked over to Curve instead. (: Sadly, I've been enjoying myself till I've forgotten to snap pictures of ANYTHING. Oh well, the memory of it is in my head (&his), that's all that matters right? He bought me a handbag. ♥

I've noticed that we've both changed ALOT and in our own unique ways. Physically & mentally. Eventho we've only been together for a year plus (1 and a half year next month, I think. :P haha, we don't have an official anniversary date, believe it or not.), we've helped each other in almost everything & anything. Somehow, we've changed to fit each other's liking, IN A GOOD WAY. I know it doesn't seem healthy to change for someone else as an individual should be the way they are, as in their OWN liking. But this is an EXCEPTION. (: haha.

I still feel nervous and have butterflies in my stomach when I see him (or even viewing his pictures). &I'm glad that the tingling feeling I have before meeting him is still there. (: I can't believe it that I'm still with this guy that I first thought was someone that wouldn't love me. &yet he did, and he still do. I love you bie, alot. ♥

THEN and NOW;

We both wore glasses, haha. Couldn't find one when I was younger, wearing glasses. i would look wayyyyyyy nerdier. lol. He've gone buffer and I've loss A LITTLE weight. I thank God everyday that he have gone bigger than me, if he was still skinny, I would look like a giant beside him. :/ &ofcourse I thank God everyday that I have him also LAH. :P

College?

I feel so shitty cause I've been skipping classes. :/ erghhh. THIS IS MY LAST WEEK OF SKIPPING CLASS! (bear in mind that tmr is the last day of having classes for the week. (: I definitely wouldn't skip any classes tmr, so yeah.) I'm having Excel assignments and I'm having a fever because of it, due to brain storming for the stupid formulas and everything. (YES, excel have FORMULAS.) Midterms are starting NEXT WEEK, what the hell?! Why is everything coming so fast when this is a long sem?! I should be feeling a little laid back right? grr. I feel like its worst than a short sem. Assignments deadlines, presentations, test, midterms, FINALS?! arghhhhhhh.

Family?

My mom and brother have went to Canada and from there, they're going to Florida, US to see my sister. I really wanted to follow but I have classes to attend and they're there for more than a month. :( I miss my mom already. I'm stuck at home with the old man. Story of my life.

Chinese New Year?

Have been home alot. But Jes and Jane (JJ, LOL) stayed over at my place. :D So I don't feel so alone, thank God for friends. The boyf went to Penang, and I really wanted to follow to visit my grandma but I don't want to disturb him and his friends. I doubt that my mom would let either. :/ Went to Sunway, Curve, Ikea, Taylor's PJ, Apek Kopitiam..haha, just a place outside my house. But other than all those places, we've been home and ordering McD's. I miss them.

That's all for now. (: Gotta continue with my brainstorming, grr.

Oh&btw, I've quit smoking. Ok2, I'll prove to everyone after 6 months!

convo.

2010-02-04T04:12:00.006+08:00

"You know there are so many better girls out there for you. Since you already know so much about me, especially how bad I am and everything, why are you still with me?! You should have just left me or not even get to know me."

"Because I love you!"

"..."

♥ imissyoubie. :(

whiteflag.

2010-01-31T21:39:00.005+08:00

credits to priya. (:

Neeru's birthday was a blast, she celebrated a few days earlier. (: &that was when I actually had the chance to wear my leather jacket without actually looking silly, haha. Went for dinner in PapaJohns (loveeeee the baked rice, bringing my bby there one day!) and after that, we headed over to Republic. I had Sex on the Beach - great drink, isn't too strong and isn't too light either. Laughed, Drank, Gossiped, Laughed, Danced, Laughed, Played Games, Laughed. Haha, hell yeah we laughed a WHOLE LOT. I miss hanging out with them already. Shared money with Sonia, Jane and Jes to buy for Neeru designer's cupcakes. All 20 of them! Godddd. Will be uploading some pictures here soon. (:

Oh, I finally have a bank account! Haha, I know right, damn excited. Well, my mom took the card away from me. -.- goddamnit. Not excited already, lol.

I have a presentation tomorrow that requires me to wear a CHEONG SAM. Oh God, bless me. So I'm wearing half a cheong sam! :D haha, the top only. I can't be wearing the whole thing, especially with my hair color, some guy would eventually come to me and ask, "Cik, brape eh?". -.- if you know what I mean. Hope everything would be okay eventhough I know I usually screw my presentations up. =/ Ah, might as well get over it.

It's amazing how someone that is so important in my life makes me realizes things that I couldn't ever realize it myself. Even when the person is so important to me and close to me, I've got my own personal reasons to push him away. But I never had the heart to cause he mean so much to me. I thought he never understood my situations, but he do, he actually do. &I feel like I owe him my life because of how he treats me even when he already know who I really was and what I've done several years before. He have changed my life in ways that I could never describe. He still love me till this very day even after everything that we have been through. He have opened up my eyes to see the world in a different and better perspective. He have given me hope and everything that I need. Now I wish I could just erase every bad memory that I had with him and keep the good ones. But on the other hand, like some people say, we have bad memories in order to cherish our good memories, and its true. (: I love you bie, you don't know how much you mean to me. ♥

gingerbreadman.

2010-01-30T03:45:00.009+08:00

"I've forgotten to smile."

First of all,

JESWENA KAUR CHAHIL A/P JAGJIT SINGH, stop being so sad and emo k? (:

You know that I'm here for you, bitch.

Anyway,

it've been a really rough couple of days. Nothing seemed to be pleasant to me. =/ BUT, I'm thinking positive! :D Well, atleast I'm trying. College is failing on me, the last time I studied, everything went in my head. Now, nothing. Wonder if I'm losing interest in the subject or I'm just plain lazy to remember everything. LOL. Modern Western World history is kinda killing me with its, HISTORIES. -.- Interpersonal Communications is getting more interesting, its funny sometimes when you tell to yourself "Hey! That actually DID happen to me!" and stuff like that. Telecommunication and Broadcasting is a drag to me as well, but I have to make it interesting, I guess cause we are just studying about the history of it all. =/ End-User Computing is something that I'm good at, well, considering that it is a subject that I'm retaking. haha. I don't want to fail for it AGAIN.

Tomorrow,

Neeru is celebrating her birthday. (: I bought for her a little something but I don't think that's enough, so I'm just gonna buy her a cake as well. :D she knows, cause I told her that I'm buying a cake and not to let anyone buy, heh. Hope it will be a good day for all of us, it have been quite a while since we've ALL hanged out.

My boyfriend,

said that I look good when I tie my hair up. LOL. Can't I just wanna be proud for a little while? ;) But seriously, it totally depends on what I wear.

Chinese New Year,

is just round the corner and I'm sooooo ready for it! haha. My mom bought for me like a gazillion clothes, cause she feels bad that she's leaving me alone for Chinese New Year. (I always celebrate with her. :( ) my brother is following her to US as well. It seems fair, cause finally my sister get to celebrate with my mom. (: so ITS OKAY. I still have my boyf and friends! :D

Coca-Cola,

OMG, I didn't know coke could cause mouth cancer! Oh noooooo. :(

Berries,

do you know that strawberries and raspberries are actually NOT berries. HAHA. They're just seeds. BUT blackcurrents are. LOL. Noticed that it doesn't contain any "berry" word in it? Never have guessed.

Sorry,

I'm just being really random with information that I've just found out, haha.

OHH,

and I've got free passes to go "The New Vision" at KL Life Center, Jln Sultan Ismail on the 30th January '10, 8pm. I'm not sure if I could actually give it to anyone but I'm not going tmr cause I'm going for Neeru's birthday. I've got 2 passes, anyone wants them? =/ Non-Muslims only - Hey, I'm not being a racist here, THEY ARE. haha, it is mentioned on the passes.

That's all for now. (:

bestfriends.

2010-01-21T00:36:00.006+08:00

It’s hard to define what “best friends” mean, like, what are they actually for? Lol, I don’t mean to make them sounded like a “thing” other than an actual human being. All my life I had a best friend, I had two, three, and four and…so on. But I’ve noticed that I have always been sticking with the same group of friends and I know why – I trust them & I feel comfortable with them. Though some of them had been my enemy before, they’ve really changed and so have I. Something made us changed and brought us all together. Yes, I’m talking about you Jeswena Kaur Chahil A/P Jagjit Singh (goddamn long) and Sonia Soon Chee Liang. I didn’t start off well with you two! But in the end, look what happened to us. (: *touchwood. I started to be friends with Sonia a little late cause we still had some misunderstandings beginning of high school years. Jeswena was the loyal one. :D was stuck with me ever since standard 6. I used to chase the guys that bullied her to get back her shoes. LOL. But all of us knew each other when we were 10 years old. Jeswena used to be an annoying idiot to me and Sonia used to be a bloody bitch to me. HAHA. But now, they are my everything. I literally can’t live without them. They are like drugs to me, I can’t NOT call them at least once or twice a week cause I just NEED to know how they’re doing and if they are still alive. LOL. It’s sad that some of us grew apart, like Kristin Choy. I do miss her, but right after high school, everything changed. We don’t even talk anymore, just once in a while – about online shopping and contact lens? =/ Oh &Amanda, haha. We grew apart in form 3. Man, I shouldn’t have let her to shift to SMK USJ13 to join me. Lol, kidding2. :P We are all still friends though, thankfully. (:

I was glad to have shifted to SMK USJ13 from SMK USJ23, if not I wouldn’t have met Jane Lee Hui Yee, Evon Low (sry, I don’t rmb yr full name. =/ SORRYYY) and Vanna Choong May Yen. :DD more friendsssss! I never knew Huiyee would ever be one of my bestfriends (YES YOU ARE BAYBEHH). She was quiet at first to me. &now she is one of my BISING buddies man, haha. Von, somehow, it’s hard to get away from you, you are just DIFFERENT and I love you for the way you are. You were always the garang one with me, haha. Dare to do shits that are not suppose to be done and get real frigging pissed on those who pissed us off – I miss those days where we curse and swear like nobody’s business! ;) &Vanna, fuishhhhh, VANNA. I can blab anything to you and you definitely have feedback. You don’t only listen but you join in every single shit I talk about. You are also one of my bising buddies (duhh)!

I was really surprised that I could actually get good friends in college. (: Shadhin & Jamie, I owe you guys my life, I was the stupidest and blurrest person alive that goes to college. You guys showed me that I could succeed in life and that I could do real well in my studies if I study real hard and it will be worth it. Eventho we’ve only been friends for more than a year (OMG, it’ve been more than a year already!), I felt like we’ve been friends for a really long time. No matter what I know you guys got my back.

I thank every one of you for giving me great memories for every chapter in my life, without you guys; I would just be an isolated idiot.

Best friends; An especially close and trusted friend. (In wiktionary) // But to me, best friends mean way more than that. You could always get close to someone, you could always trust someone. But you can’t always find someone that you are comfortable talking to, being with, having fun with, wouldn’t betray you, keeps your secrets, not using you, loves you for who you are, always there for you, helps you in any way you needed, try not to disappoint you, never backstab you (once in awhile it’s okay, I know most of you did, DON’T DENY, lol and I know I’m annoying at times) and most importantly, you know that they TRUST YOU TOO & have a strong bond between us. (:

Okay, fine, I admit, all that equals to "close friend". HAHA. I just want to be a little dramatic, can't I? :P

6minutes.

2010-01-18T23:03:00.005+08:00

before going to Suresh's 21st birthday party in Shah Alam. (:

thks to Howard that fetched me & Jes from my place, along with Michelle in the car. Hopes Suresh loves his present from us. :D it was really really last minute, we even almost bought boxers for him, haha. Superman boxers, can you imagine? The party was great, I love lovee loveee the food - INDIAN FOOD. Oh heaven. The papadums was AWESOME, &I'm craving for it now. :( Most of the pictures are with the other bloggers, will steal from them as soon as they post them up but ofcourse, I would credit them. (:

College is a little hectic,

lecturers seem to be rushing lately, they've even started on lecturing for the 1st week already. Usually it will be on the 2nd or 3rd week, right? Or am I hallucinating? Lol. I mean, this is a long semester, we should be more relaxed, unlike for short semesters. Somehow, I felt like I was more relaxed for last sem - a short sem. &yes, I've even started on studying already, an hour a day, keeps the mother away. Haha, seriously.

Do I still look scary?

I dyed my hair, and I even started smiling a lot. Yet, people are still afraid to approach me when they see me, grr. haha. Oh well, for everyone's information, I am HALF BLIND, seriously, I wouldn't recognize you till you come right into my face and wave. LOL. I'm not indifferent people, &yes, I'm simply just blind. :D

~~Ergh,~~

to that stupid piece of shit of a person, you're a HUGE JOKER. I mean, you are boring, you just keep on repeating the same words over and over again to anyone that you so-called "love". I don't even get why girls don't get bored of your disgusting "sweet-words-that-could-melt-their-little-hearts". Oh I guess cause you're smart enough to date girls that don't know each other or their just plain dumb. (no offence to the girls, I do feel for you but still) You misuse the word and made it boring, like its nothing. A crush is a crush, not to the extend of LOVE. I'm no expert in this but I'm just saying. Ignore this whole paragraph completely if you think I'm wrong. &no, its not about you bby, its some other dude that broke some other dudette's heart. He is technically starting all over again, pft. Can't mention any names, arguments might arise. lol.

_______________________________________________________

Sometimes its black, sometimes its white
Sometimes he's wrong, sometimes I'm right
Sometimes we talk about it or we figure it out
But then he just changed his mind
Sometimes he's hot, sometimes i'm cold
Sometimes my head wants to explode
But when i think about it im so in love with him

Every other time. ♥

simplyred.

2010-01-18T01:32:00.000+08:00

If you don't know me by now
You will never never never know me
All the things
That we've been through
You should understand me
Like I understand you
Now girl I know the difference
Between right and wrong
I ain't gonna do nothing
To break up our happy home
Don't get so excited
When I come home
A little late at night
Cos we only act like children
When we argue fuss and fight

If you don't know me by now
You will never never never know me

We've all got our
Own funny moods
I've got mine,
Woman you've got yours too
Just trust in me like I trust in you
As long as we've been together
It should be so easy to do
Just get yourself together
Or we might as well say goodbye
What good is a love affair
When you can't see eye to eye

If you don't know me by now
You will never
Never never know me

anywhereyougoiwillfollowyoudown.

2010-01-13T16:06:00.005+08:00

College started. Oh, so goddamn dreadful.

Felt like I'm going to die. (I know I'm overreacting. lol.) I thought I would be changing to another college, cause I failed for 3 Semesters already. Grr. BUT, I passed. :D I mean, I still could study there. Joy oh joy.

I wouldn't need to go meet new people in a new place all over again. Was actually excited that I could actually go to Inti College, but something happened, blah blah blah, I don't want to go there anymore. That's why I'm happy now. (: Oh, I don't have a proper picture to post up yet. =/ haha, soonnnn. Feels kinda weird posting a post without a picture.

Well, I will be updating quite frequently these days, cause most probably I would be stuck at home all the frigging time. Sigh. I had to study and everything, to make sure I wouldn't fail for this sem, YET AGAIN. This is the first time that I'm actually taking 4 subjects in a sem, ergh. Yes, my mom forced me, not really forced as in pushed me like mad or scold me tho. Cause I know if I don't take them, she wouldn't be happy. SO, I want her to be happy. (: Took all 4 subjects like some retard, lol. I know I would atleast fail for one. Then she would be disappointed on me, and the whole process starts all over again. :( all the best to myself.

will be updating soon.

gotta put on my facial mask now to relax. (:

hee.

|04:23pm

backbackbackstabber.

2010-01-08T23:02:00.007+08:00

Sweet Child O'Mine.

addicted to Guns N' Roses nowadays. (:

Just came home from Melur with Sonia and Julia. I miss mamaking, I've felt like it've been centuries since I've been to a mamak, but I think it was just a few days. =/

I know this is totally random but,

I miss how I was when I was in Form 4 to 5. Even if I was so bloody stressed out, I enjoyed those years as well. I was looking through all my pictures last time, I seem so happy. Compared to now, all my pictures look sucky. Peesh. (Getting old? Goddamnit.)

I want to be back like last time, when I don't give a shit what people think of me - on how I dress, how I talk, how my attitude was. Its annoying that I could be influenced by "someone" so easily. Now I'm so self-conscious. I care about what people think about me, I want to behave properly infront of some "people". Well, it all comes to one conclusion - I can't be MYSELF. (Not can't, more to won't.) I'll try my best to feel awesome all over again. (:

I'm gonna start to be myself with writing fiction stories. I miss writing. I miss being all creative and excited about a story. So I'm gonna continue on my "Alien Story" that I've written when I was in Form 5. I promised lots of people that I would continue. But I did not, cause of college. Ergh. BUT, now I'm gonna try my best. Even if my classes are starting already. I've got some ideas for it already. :D (Be happy, Suresh.) For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, here is the link to the mysterious story, lol - Click me! Enjoy. (:

I think I'm gonna change my major from Psychology to Mass Communication. It was such a waste of time, I know. But I seriously can't survive in Psychology, I thought I could, but I've tried to understand the subject. Somehow, I can't. If I was interested in it, I bet I would want to know more about it, but I don't. I seriously don't. It was like killing me from the inside, use up my brain's juice for nothing, haha. Hopefully I won't be kicked out from the program cause I failed for my 3rd time already. Shit. I will be going to college on Monday to find out. *nervous. Worse come to worst, I will be going to Inti College. =/ I know "someone" is not keen of me going but I don't think I've got a choice. My mom doesn't want me to go Segi. So I'm stuck with Inti, sigh.

That's all for now. (:

____________________________________________________

If you don't know me by now, you will never never never know me.

|11:37pm

dontbeabitchwithyourlittlechitchats.

2010-01-08T04:14:00.007+08:00

Okay, this will be a short update.

I thought I wanted to have a proper update but something came up.

& I can't stop myself from complaining.

Lots have happened, and believe me, I'm not happy about it.

There's this and there's that, then middle of no where some other problem would eventually come up. Its hard enough when I've got so many problems in my head already but more & more just comes nonstop. Gosh.

I am so stressed out. Fullstop.

There is this idiot that lied to me and one of my friends. I mean, it might not be a big of a deal to you guys or that particular idiot but why lie? You think we'll be that evil to not let you visit that "someone" is it? I can cancel my plans for friend A cause I know that friend A's problem is urgent and more important, but why can't you? Instead, you lied to us just to visit friend B's house. Why can't you just tell us the truth? Why the hell must you even create some stupid excuse? We could've even fetched you there. We won't be that busybody to want to follow you okay? Just tell us. Ergh.

I was suppose to be sleeping cause I have to wake up at 8 in the morning.

But so much have been happening around me that I practically feel like a zombie. So tell me, what's the point of sleeping anymore? Pft.

I went MOS for Christmas. It was fun.

Was suppose to go for Ne-yo's afterparty justnow, but didn't have the mood to and someone's friends are gonna see me there and complain to him that I danced with guys. Gosh, they do know that its a club and that I dance in a crowd right. Plus random guys are the one who goes to girls and will be dancing with us even when they have no idea who we are. I feel so watched nowadays, its like having security cams in every angle. Atleast I know I'm not doing anything wrong. (:

Had late New Year's dinner with my babes. ♥

I lovey dovey them. (:

The end.

______________________________________________________________

I don't think I could take all these chaos anymore, sigh.

|5.00am

help?

2009-12-24T01:13:00.002+08:00

HELP US BRING

PARAMORE

TO MALAYSIA!! (:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=210909938069

doyouremember

2009-12-21T00:52:00.003+08:00

It felt like it have been years! haha. I'm finally back, for now. (:

So much had happened, things that shouldn't even be mentioned,

so I'm just gonna forget about it.

Firstly,

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MY BBFRML™ !! lol.

(Bestest Best Friend for the Rest of My Life)

hope you had a great time with me for 4 days. (:

I want you to be happy, I need you to feel appreciated.

Even after the pain, I want you to know that I'm still here for you.

I'll never betray your trust, I promise I'm definitely not like them.

It hurts me too seeing you being all sad and heartbroken.

You deserve so much better, & it would happen to you.

Soon, very soon. Just don't give up.

Don't listen to anyone that calls you childish, you yourself know that you're not.

Now that you've learnt your lesson, think wisely the next time. (:

I'm always here to help you. Don't let anyone take your perspective of True Love away from you.

Like I told you before, everyone's perspective of True Love is different.

Cheer up babe, hope everything goes well for you.

I'm worried sick about you now cause you're not with me, you've went home.

Please don't think too much, okay? Promise? I'll try calling you.

I love you.

Okay, so anyway,

life's been good, there's too much to update here, so I'm really really lazy to do so, haha.

I've even thought about closing the blog but I didn't have the heart to. =/

So I'll try my very best to update as much as I can. ;)

Everything I do, I do it for you. ♥

ispendmytimethinkingboutyou.

2009-10-11T10:07:00.016+08:00

:DD
updates !!

.240909.

had our primary school reunion,
SRK USJ20.

the rest of the photos can be found in facebook. (:

.031009.

Sonia, waiting for us. :P

was invited to Taylor's in SS15 by Jane.
we arrived too early, so we went to have breakfast at Paparich. (:

after that we met up with Jane's friends in the college.

the rest of the photos are in facebook. (: check it out.
then we went to AC for awhile.

went to play foosball later on. :DDD

got bored,
so we went to Sunway Pyramid's rooftop.
It was beautiful up there,
really breath taking.

I was afraid that I was about to fall. :S
It was scary. :( I've just found out that I'm afraid of heights, aiks!

Believe me,
my legs was steady, but after awhile,
they started shaking. =/

I don't mind sitting down though! :DD
Jane's heart crocked. :(

There's more in Facebook! :DD
Oh & it was Tanglong Festival! (: {Mooncake !!}

.071009.

Jane Lee Hui Yee's BIRTHDAYYYYYY!! :DDDDDD
Had dinner in Las Caretas. (:

Surprised her with balloons.
But some people told her that they bought it for her instead. -.- ISH.
I wonder who they are. :PPP

The balloons that cost me a fortune!! Worth it though. (:

The birthday girl. (:

LOL.

Yeah, the retarded me.
As Suresh said.

My babes. :D

Had same dishes. :P

Perbincangan tentang Sims3, haha.

-.- Teasing me, ish!

Mereka dgn balloon2ku, hahaha.

Overall, had a really great time! :D
Was really really tired, but was too tired till I'm hyper, hahaha.
I admit I'm weird.

Anyway,
today, my bitch (kidding) took lotsa nice photos!
I was so surprised! I mean, finally! LOL.
Seriously, -.-

Have a look. (:

HAHAHA, censored her underarms for her.

and ofcourse they were edited by me, haha.
Not bad babe, keep it up! :DD

That's all for now.
(: will update soon, hopefully.

xx.

|12:36pm.

itscheesy.

2009-10-06T03:31:00.004+08:00

"He makes me the happiest person in the entire universe."

It have been more than a year now,
it's not that I want to jinx it or anything but I'm actually proud of myself. I've been through so much and I never thought that I could ever last this long with someone - especially him. Right after the guy that I loved for 3 years had cheated on me, I thought there wouldn't be anyone else. I told myself, "Tiffany, you don't need anymore assholes in your life, you'd have enough." But I guess that didn't work out, thankfully. :) Even after all those arguments, I still love with with all my heart. Yes, at times I couldn't take it, but that didn't make me give up on him. Somehow, that made me love him more. I'm just happy to know that someone can finally tolerate with my temper, my insecurity, and everything else. Not that my bestfs doesn't, but I bet you know what I mean. ;) It's true that at times I do feel jealous with all the other relationships that had anniversary every year, month or even weeks, but I know that doesn't matter cause of what he told me ; "So what bie? As long as I'm with you it doesn't matter how long we're together." I know right, doesn't sound like him AT ALL. Lol. I think we've spent a year getting to know each other, cause we didn't had the time to even be friends yet at first, haha. I thought he would just be a fling, shh, don't tell him. Hahaha. But being with him everyday makes me fall in love with him even more. I love him. ♥

Arrrggghhhhh,
talking about him now makes me miss him even more, ish.

Will update about lots & lots of stuff later !! (:

| 111009.

mybabe.

2009-09-25T05:02:00.002+08:00

my sister from another mister, my sister-soulmate, my godknowswhatelse. xDDD

2009-09-09T22:15:00.007+08:00

Updates! (:

.050909.

went out with Edward,
finally. lol.

I was so excited cause I was going to visit my old house in SS2!! :DD
still looks the same. lol.

no, this is not my old house. hahahaha.
I wished tho. =/
my future house would be BIGGER than that! :P

his cross, his phone,
NOT his traffic light.

told them I want to take a picture of them and this was what I get. -.-

on the way back home already. ):
TRAFFIC JAMMMM. (:

spot Jes? lol.

for more details,
pls visit Jes's blog.
Click me!

went to pick up Sonia from Giant later at night. (:
Sunsilk promoter!

went tanjung with Sonia, Jes, Vincent and Julia. (:
then Vincent, Jes and I went to the field near my house to have a chat. :DD

Do I look malay-ish? hahaha.

he looks better with his jacket,
don't you think? ;)

.060909.

Jes stayed over. (:
&yes my mom was pissed. lol.

went to the mamak,
then to the kopitiam to takeaway some food for my family.

my keychain. (:

.080909.

on the way to college.

went to Cineplex, the Curve at night.
to watch "The Ugly Truth".
thanks Suresh for inviting me and giving me the free passes. (:

goddamnit,
I need to bring my camera next time!

Jes and her ticket. (:

in the cinema. heh.

this pic was taken before the movie started.
credits to Nigel Sia. (:

that's all for now.

Oh yeah,
its my bby's birthday today! :DD

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIEE!
Iloveyou, a whole lot! (:

appreciatelove.

2009-09-01T02:34:00.008+08:00

woohoo!
Merdeka! lol.
sry, I know I am 3 hours late. :P

this will be a really really long post,
cause I haven't been blogging much lately. =/
was just lazy.

anyway,
Me & Sonia tried fasting. lol.
TRIED.
Vincent succeeded.
Sonia and I failed. :(
goddamnit.

first day of us fasting!! :DD

(: semangatnya. lol.

my doggy.
wolfieeeeeeeee.
9 years old, can you believe it?!

got bored;

very bored;

hahaha. :P
was so bored that I called my mom out for a movie!! heh.
asked huihui to come along. (:

first time in a very long time I wore my skinny jeans!! :DD

I'm not MALAYYYYY. TT
cause huihui's friends thought that I am when they see my pictures. =/

anyway,
Sonia wanted to bake cookies.
so I asked her to come over to my place. :D
start from scratchhhh.
I love baking, but I'm just too busy for it nowadays. :(

she came to my place too early so we went to Melur first,
my baby fetched us thereeee. (:

he looked tired. :(
&rather weird here. =/
lol

Sonia;
&the woman behind her. HAHAHA.

we baked lots & lots of cookies and they taste GREAT !! :DD
I'm so proud of myselfffff,
& Soniaa. lol.

hehe. :P

went to KK later on with Vincent.
fetched Ariel, then went to a mamak nearby,
well, not very close by but still in KK. lol.

on the way;

OH OH OH,
and Von came down from Penang!!! :DDDDDDDD
she followed us down to KK as well!

I stole her sheep and poke its nose holes. x)

VON;

I miss you so so so much now,
how I wish you could've stay longer. :(

The next day;

yes,
I freak myself out too at times.

was bored yet again;

went out with my mom on that night. (:
watched Imagine That,
great movie!!

On the next day,
Huiyee called me. (:

IKEAAAAAA;

more pictures in her phone. lol.
she might be updating soon, I dont know.

__________________________________________________________

TOOT says:
i cannot count many people as my bestie
t i f f {I have screamed until my veins collapsed.} ; says:
i mean, you as her good frined
TOOT says:
TOOT opened up my eyes
t i f f {I have screamed until my veins collapsed.} ; says:
friend
TOOT says:
there is only one such person who can be a bestie
who you can tell anything aboyt everything to
who will understand
when to say or do what
who knows exactly how you feel and even if dont at times,knows what to do at the right time
and your the only person who does that and is like that
i think only you and TOOT can ever be my real bestfriend
TOOT says:
i guess im just lucky 2 have two then
kk

sry toot,
I know you know who you are.
I just really wanna post this up.
No one ever said that much to me,
and I really love you.

+ SuReSh + says:
u see..
i meet a girl called tiffany loh in friendster..for god knows how
chatted with her in msn..
found her a lil weird with her drak ghotic ways..
i mean she was a total strange person..
but as time passes by..
i go to know this girl even better..
she had this written on her head..im not perfect..well are u??
so yea i told myself...there are diff ppl in this world..
i mean like yea..
but u know..the best thing bout u is ur personality..u dun take shit frm anyone

okay, I think reshy wouldn't mind me posting this up. :P
eventho I know you might not be honest about this cause I know you're half drunk rightnow,
lol. But what you said have really made my day. (: its obvious he is kinda drunk, look at the way he typed everything. -.- ish.

that's all for now. (:
will update soon, hopefully. :P

|3:36am

ourlove'stheperfectcrime.

2009-08-25T01:56:00.004+08:00

there isn't a day that we don't argue.
I guess that's making our relationship stronger and more interesting.
It's obvious that I'm just trying to be positive, huh? =/

I can't sleep,
I wanted to earlier on but it was dark and I accidentally knocked my head against the wall.
Too goddamn hard. -.- Wished that I would eventually faint and wake up the next day,
but I can't sleep now. The hit woke me up. Grrrr.

I've been very lazy to blog lately. =/
I don't know what to say and I'm too lazy to upload pics,
except for this recent one. Hehheh.

Yes my semester started last week. (:
I'm sticking to my American Culture, Sociology and Child Psychology. :DD
It involves a lot of reading though..oh well.

Currently addicted to;
I Want To Touch You - AAR.
Father Taught Me To Tie My Shoes - PlayRadioPlay.

babylove.

2009-08-17T21:03:00.006+08:00

YES,
I FOUND MY USB CABLE.
Well, it's technically my mom's. (:

I'm going to update about MTV Worldstage Concert. :DD

but I guess most of the pics would be from Sonia's phone cause I've forgotten that I've got a camera phone as well.
lol. I gotta get used to it.

my baby in his raincoat. (:

I'll let the pictures do the work - tell the story that is. (:

Please don't mind those 2 fellers behind. lol.
Ganesa's friends.

That's about it. (:
Loved the day. Loved the bands.
Loved the people. :D

A picture of him that he loved;

advertising for 3 layer tea. lol.

My sister went back to Penang a month back,

My grandma's fav bear! (:
I want to see her too!!! :( :( :(

I miss you poh2.

godknowswhy.

2009-08-11T21:32:00.006+08:00

I know it's non of my business to butt in into other people's relationships, I wouldn't even want others to butt in mine. But this is something that I can't take, something that hurts me so bad. Its not about me, it's about my bestest bestfriend. I knew her for a really long time and I know when she is in love and when she is not. It's sad to see her like this - all hopeless & disappointed. I still remember I woke her up this morning to just have a talk with her & she was just telling me how happy she was with him and that she can't stop thinking about him. She loves him so much that her heart aches. Her heart aches so much that she cries. She have been so selfless these days because of him, all she cares is him, him, him and only him. She worries about him 24/7, she talks about him all the time - about good things &bad.

Yes she seemed over protective or too paranoid but that's all because SHE LOVES HIM. I don't think that he realizes that. Even if he did, then why would he be so mindless to have left her? So what if she is annoying at times? It's her, it's who she really is - if he can't accept her for who she is then it's just a waste of time as well. Can't he just understand that she have been through a lot to have to be left again? She trusted him, & this was what happened to her. It was so hard for her to trust any other guy anymore, especially after "M". But no, when she trusts one, he must turn his back on her. If he have been annoyed with her, why give her hope in the first place? - Why even tell her that you love her when you're just annoyed by her? Why tell her that you're forever hers when you're not even sure about it yourself? WHY?

He said he kept everything that he was annoyed to himself while she tells him everything. Unfair isn't it? I know he didn't want to hurt her by telling her how he really feels - annoyed by her actions. But isn't this a part of a relationship? To be understanding towards each other and to tell everything out eventhough you know that it'll hurt him/her? Don't you know that she would accept everything and try to change for the sake of you? She loves you, of course she would change all the little things that annoys you. &I can't believe what you told her as an excuse of why you left her. Because of FLIRTING. I'm not going to say anymore.

At least now I know that you're not worth it with her. Did you even put any effort on getting to know her more instead of just judging her? If you did, fine, I don't think your love for her is enough. If you didn't, then what the hell are you thinking of even being with her and loving her? You don't have the right to love her. Jes, please know that I wouldn't let another guy to hurt you this way ever again. I know that this is your lesson to be learnt but I can't see you this way anymore. You're such an amazing girl, I don't get why people doesn't notice that.

day&night.

2009-08-10T18:41:00.002+08:00

Chapter 1:===============
1. Middle name:= Yen
2. Nickname(s):= Tiff, Tiffy, Tiffay, Boxers, May, Sniffany
3. Current location= in my beautiful room. lol.
4. Eye color:= brown.

Chapter 2:===============
1. Do you get along with your parent(s):= most of the time. (not all the time)
2.Are your parents married/separated/divorced?= God knows.

>Chapter 3: Favorites===============
1. Ice Cream:= Belgium Chocolate. (:
2. Season:= Winter.
3. Shampoo/conditioner= Head&Shoulders - works for my dandruff! =/
4. Favorite Thing?= my Phone.

Chapter 4: Do You..===============
1. Dance in the shower?= when I'm happy, yes. (:
2. Do you write on your hand?= Yeah, with other people helping me as well. lol.
3. Call people back?= Yeapp.
4. Believe in love:= WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THIS?!!! lol. yes yes yes.
5. Any bad habits?= my Moodiness.
6. Any mental health issues:= not that I know of. hahaha.

Chapter 5: Have You..===============
1. Ever kissed your dog: when they're clean.
2. Sprained stuff:= nop, I'm very careful. (:
3. Had physical therapy:= can't recall any. lol.
4. Gotten stitches?= nopppppp. :D
5. Taken painkillers:= yeahhh, for my braces. -.- (had to take 4 tooth out k!!!)
6. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling:= hell yeahh.
8. Thrown up at the dentist:= err..no. lol. I'll suck it up. HAHAHA. kidding.
9. Sworn in front of your parents?= All the time, & my mom would yell at me. lol.
10. Had detention?= who doesn't??

Chaper 6: Who/What was the last===============
1. Movie(s):= The Proposal. (: G R E A T movie.
2. Three people to text you:= Ganesa, Edward,..Ganesa. lol.
3. Person you called= JESWENA KAUR CHAHIL, that didn't answer cause was with PRAVEENT.
4. Person you hugged:= Ganesa. (:
5. Person you tackled?= my sister. -.- while she farts.
6. Person you talked to on MSN?= Amanda.
7. Thing you touched?= the keyboard??? o.O
8. Thing you ate?= I don't remember..sundae ice-cream that Ganesa bought for me yesterday?? lol. thanks baby. (:
9. Thing you drank:= COKE.
10. Thing you said:= *HAAAAAAAA-CHIIIEEEWWWWWWW* lol. hahaha.
11. Person you kissed:= my baby. isn't it obvious who?????
12. Place you went= washroom. (indoors) ; McD's (outdoors) hahaha.

wow, I've noticed that many times I've post on the exact time. (:00) - ending with 00. lol.

|7:00pm

sheislovinghimstill,afterallthistime.

2009-08-10T08:55:00.004+08:00

" For the rest of her life, she's loving him still

for the last of many miles, she's loving him still,

after all this time. "

I've always wondered if anyone does read my blog. lol. other than those people that I told to read my posts about them or something. these days I've been realizing far too many things and it's annoying me. I mean, why must I realize these kind of things when it's not even good news in the first place. I guess I would just ignore them, tried. it keeps happening, these things that I realize about the people that I care - about how much they could have hurt me or be too selfish to themselves and not think about how I feel instead. Sometimes I think to myself, why should I be nice to them after what they have done? why should I be the one realizing their mistakes? my sem break is making me go crazy. made me think too goddamn much about anything at all, even about why do ants existed - weird, I know, tell me about it.

I've thought of writing a story again about god knows what. lol. but I'm just too lazy, my classes are starting soon already anyway. my blog is going to be filled up with words now. hahaha. cause I seriously can't sleep early these days and I've got nothing better to do. Just went out to my roof an hour or two ago. (: its breathtaking. (no, literally, I was short of air in my lungs at that moment.) I was just finding for things to do cause I'm too hyper rightnow to sleep. I wanted to talk to Jes for a longer time justnow but my credit died on me. ): I can't even message my baby now. I guess I'll be going out to buy credit later. Not sure yet though, cause my energy is wearing off as time passes by. Its so bloody cold in my room now, I could literally freeze to death - thank God to my hoodie that I'm wearing rightnow.

I've been receiving offline messages on msn from my sister. -.- It's annoying that when she goes off, I'll be on and when I go off, she's on. somehow all these kind of things are happening to me a little too often (something's not liking me). I'm only taking 3 subjects next sem. my mom and the head of my program wants me to "enjoy" my sem. -.- if "enjoyed" too much and I failed, I'm going to ask for a refund! lol. oh and the other reason for me to be typing to goddamn much is because I'm using my computer - great keyboard to type on. I love love love to type on a keyboard, not only any type of keyboards, it must be one that I like. :P I seriously think that no one would read this post cause it's so freaking long. lol. I wouldn't even read it myself.

I wanted to post a post for Ganesa but I've got too much to say and I'm afraid that readers may barf their lungs out if they read the post. lol. believe me, it'll be too mushy mushy. hahaha. but it'll be really sweet for those who really love their loved ones. I'm just afraid that you might be jealous for the love that I have for him. ;PPP either all of that or I'm just plain lazy. lol. cause I've already sent him a love letter last Valentine's Day and technically, I think he knows that I love him already (well, too goddamn much), I remind him everydayyyyy. hahaha. he KNOWS.

I wonder how this weekend is going to be. lol. its my last weekend off. plus Jes is staying over at my place right after her exams are over! (: and Charmaine the day after that. I can't wait. hopefully Ganesa would be free for me as well. cause I'll be studying everyday next sem. I can't afford to fail again. YES, i failed for my maths last sem. I realized that I sucked at it too late, if not I bet I seriously could have aced it. can't let my mom down next sem and all of the upcoming sems. lol. I'll be murdered/slaughtered/whacked.

that's all for now,
I know this post is really random.
cause it's about too many goddamn things.
and I think I said goddamn too many goddamn times.

|9:30am

itdontmatternocauseigotyou.

2009-08-10T06:35:00.004+08:00

I'm beginning to bore myself to death.
I can't live without my camera! ):
its so weird not having any pictures in my blog,
or any other websites of mine! grrrrr.

Jes and Ganesa are having exams this whole week. TT
both of my favorite people wouldn't have the time for me!
thank God Jes stayed over yesterday. (:
we hung out in Sunway Pyramid on Saturday,
just us besties, it've been way too long.
went to Starbucks. Ganesa was there with his cousins as well, in Thai Thai. lol.
while I was walking to 7-eleven,
someone punched me. -.-
I was on the phone with Neeru,
so I didn't really care cause I thought that it was one little boy that accidentally punched me.
after hanging up on Neeru,
Huiyee called me, & she was that idiot that punched me. -.-
I ran all the way back to accompany her to wait for her dad.
she's working in Jusco!! lol.
go visit her; Friday, Saturday & Sunday.
next week is her last week if I'm not mistaken.
after accompanying her and buying some stuff from 7-eleven,
Jes & I went to Rainforest.
met with my baby there. (:
I've pictures!
but in my phone. ):
& I don't have the USB for it!

Yesterday;
Jes went home with Praveent.
& I went out with Ganesa. (:
felt like his tuition teacher. -.-
was studying with him.
well, for him actually. lol.
I know a little bit of marketing now!
but I don't think he could concentrate. heh. (why else)
I did pushed some information in his head tho! :DD
while I was reading his notes,
he was camwhoring with my phone. -.-
love love love the pics tho. (:
he even set his own picture as my wallpaper and screensaver for my phone. -.-
I don't mind though.

great,
now I would be typing more than posting pictures. ):
this is so lame,
oh well, its just like writing in my own journal. lol.

will try my best to buy the USB for my phone asap. (:
maybe by tomorrow? if I'm lucky.
&YAY,
I'm starting classes next week!
I wouldn't be this lifeless anymore.
while Jes, Ganesa and the rest are having their sem break. -.-
this is annoying.
when I'm free, they are not.
when they are free, I'm not.

|7:00am

forabestfriendthatitrulycare.

2009-08-08T00:26:00.002+08:00

jes,
i've got nothing better to do.
so i decided to write a post for you. (:

please know that i'm always here for you,
no matter how things are.
even if you are annoying at times,
tht's who you are & tht's who i love. (:
i'm sorry i dont send you letters or drawings like how i send to sonia.
i dont meet you tht often anymore,
so i cant pass anything to you, we dont even school in the same school,
nor go to the same tuition and now, we're not even in the same college. (godamnit)
although i dont do all that for you,
know tht you're still in my heart. (:
even if Ganesa took most of the space,
BUT, there is still space for all of you.
especially YOU, you've been through everything with me.
through thick or thin, you were still there for me.
i treat you like shit, and you dont even mind. (well, sometimes. lol.)
you know when to make me feel better and when to just leave me alone.
you're the greatest person alive to me. (:

no matter what other people say about you,
i'll never give you up.
you'll always be my #1 bestie!
cause i know you truly and the others doesnt.
it've been 8 years already and i still love you the same.
(i know i didnt really like you in standard 4, =/ BUT THT DOESNT MATTER NOW.)
{but hey, i did help you with chasing nicholas & daniel away from you. :DD AND took back your shoes from the pond. lol.}
you never backstabbed me, you never betrayed me, you never left me alone.
you understood me, you hear me out, you support me, you saved me,
saved me from all the miseries. (:

it breaks my heart to see what you're going through now.
i know you love him alot but like i told you before,
dont worry too much, dont think too much,
it'll just ruin everything.
try going with the flow and just stay calm,
i bet everything will be just fine.
i've noticed that you're more sensitive nowadays.
so please, dont listen to what others say about you.
fuck them, be who you are.
you dont need to change,
you do know that there are people tht really love you.
especially me and charmaine. (:
we love your talkativeness, hyperness, merajukness and everything.
even if it irritates us AT TIMES,
we still will love you all the same.
cause its YOU,
JESWENA KAUR CHAHIL A/P JAGJIT SINGH!!!
who else??

iloveyou,
please dont cry.
OH & where is my love letter?!?!?!?!
HMPH.

|12:54am

2009-08-07T20:18:00.000+08:00

youmakemelaughonethousandways.

2009-08-04T23:31:00.008+08:00

'man, i smell like...

GARLIC.'
ergh.

not his fault tho.

too overly sensitive. lol.
whatever.

anyway,
a few days back,
i played msn games with neeru.
hahahaha, damn lifeless man.

hahaha,
it was fun tho. =/
deii, next time play again k! (:

just click to enlarge if you cant see anything. lol.
well, if you want to. ;)
not forcing ya.

i've gotten bored these days.
i still havent buy my T707's cable yet. ):
plus, my sis is back in florida with her phone cable already..
cant use it.
so no pictures yet !

oh3,
i've fixed my own computer today!! :DD
damn proud of myself. lol.
even my dad was surprised.
cause he thought that i would ask my brother to fix it for me.
now i just need him to fix the wireless thing for me. (:

might be going timesquare tmr ! (:

byebye.

"May, my fart smells like roses." - Yen.

|12:00am

damnright.

2009-08-04T21:46:00.001+08:00

click to enlarge. lol.

|11:30pm.

weatthehotelmotelholidayinn.

2009-08-04T02:05:00.007+08:00

IDONTLIKE...THIS PART RIGHT HERE.
i dont know what i dont like, tht's why.
i dont like arguing with him,
tht's one thing i know.

so anyway,
how's everyone? (:

jeswena promised me a love letter. xDD
&i havent reply sonia's. lol.

wanted to post up loads of pics,
but no cable with me rightnow.
gotta buy one soon! cant live without it. ):

my sister had left already,
i would miss the smell of her fart..
i mean, her PRESENCE, i would miss her presence.
lol. &our midnight snacks days.
&going to mamak at 2 in the morning days. ):
now i've got no one to go with. sigh.
she is coming back in 2011 tho.
but i'll be going to michigan by then. ):
man, this sucks.

shalalala~

went to the saloon in the morning to meet vanna there,
she dyed her hair.
shoot, i couldnt post her pic! goddamnit.
went to melur after that to wait for my boyf. (:
didnt know that siva and praveen was there as well. lol.
fetched vanna home then we went to subang parade. (:
i love you, very much, too much.

i'm taking back my love.
lol. kidding, i'll never do tht. (:

i guess i'll go back to my lifeless life now,
sleep.
eat.
shit.
online.
sims 3. (:
gee, cant wait. -.-

by the way,
my mom was extra nice to me today.
now tht's weird cause she's usually moody when my sister leaves.
i guess my sis told her some stuff that she wasnt suppose to know. -.-

byebye.

| 2:33am

thelittlethings

2009-08-02T21:21:00.010+08:00

.HeyLow.

i've just gotten my new phone. :DD
finally. lol.

i know, i know,
its weird for me to choose pink but..i want something different. (:
plus it actually looks more to red than pink. hahaha.

okay, i wanted to post a new post yesterday but i've just saved it to drafts cause i didnt have the time. (:

this was something i wrote yesterday:

my sem break had started a week ago and i'm just stuck at home,
well, not really but still, i feel really bored.
going out to pyramid with huiyee, vanna and sonia tmr.
then going photohunting with sonia, julia and vincent.
then i guess we might be going to futsal. lol.
here we go yelling and running all over the field again.

Mathias,
if you're reading this,
FUCK YOU.

okay, tht's it.

hahahaha.

anyway,

Sunway's plan didnt make it cause no transport.

photohunting as well.

but futsal made it. (:

before tht,

went to Tai Thong with my mom and sis.

mmm~~ DimSum!

chinese tea. (:

yes indeed, i'm very ASIAN.

so what? proud of it.

unlike some critics.

my mom, and my sis. -.-

went to Carrefour later on to tailor a blanket tht my grandma made for my sis.

TT i also want.

i bet mine will be nicer. :P

i know it will be!!! :DD

futsal was fun.

i felt so cool tht i could actually kick the ball properly..to..sonia's..err..back.

HEH.

babe, i seriously didnt know tht i could aim tht well. :S

SORRYYYY.

went to KFC after tht,

with sonia. (:

&vincent, its seriously okay to abandon us there.

hahaha. jk!

i stayed at home today tho. (:

slept almost the whole day. :DD

was bored at 7pm.

so......

camwhore!! lol.

forgotten tht my phone actually have a camera. ;)

&yes, i still couldnt find for the charger for my cam. -.-

my fav hairband! :DD

thanks to sonia and jes tht saw it! (:

dont mind me,

i just woke up. xDD

messy hair.

but i did put some eyeliner on. :P

err..my alarm clock. (:

i love it cause its red.

my current wallpaper for my phone. :DD

wish my hair was longer tho. ):

my semi-messy room. (:

wished sonia and jes was with me. ):

hate the feeling of being alone.

my sister is going back tmr already. ):

great, i'll feel so much "BETTER".

here comes my mom yelling at me all over again cause she dont have the mood or what-so-ever.

wee, cant wait.

i'm gonna miss my sister so much. ):

anyway, tht's all for now.

will post tmr or something cause i've finally got my own wireless.

lol. i dont need to steal the line from my neighbor. :DD

{sonia, tell pengseong! lol.}

|10:48pm

youretheoneforme.

2009-07-29T03:05:00.004+08:00

heylow.

wanted to change my whole blog layout.
but i'm too lazy to create all the css codes all over again. -.-
plus, i still adore my current layout. (:
so i just made small changes here & there.

was suppose to go to Sunway today,
with vanna and to meet huiyee there.
BUT, i slept through the whole day instead.
goddamnit.
went out to KFC with sonia in the evening tho. :DD
needed to go out..
something stupid happened,dontwannatalkaboutit.
thanks for listening to me SONIA,

yes, i was poking her head, in her shadow. xD
with 3 kids behind of us catching insects. ewwww.

love the caption sonia put in her blog. lol.

check it out. ;)

will update soon.
with pictures, hopefully.
gonna go dig for my cam charger now. -.-
nights everyone!!

------------------------------------------------------

i love you with all my heart,

glad to know that i'm as important to you,

as you to me. ♥

3:29 am

100truths

2009-07-22T05:59:00.002+08:00

Got it from von. (:

001. Real name: Tiffany Loh Yen May
002. Nickname(s): Tiff, Tiffy, Loh, May, Tiffay, Sniffany, Boxers
003. Age: 18
004. Horoscope: Gemini
005. Male or Female: Female
006. Elementary: SRK Kampung Tunku & SRK USJ20
007. Middle School: SMK USJ23 (went thr when i was 13)
008. High School: SMK USJ13 (from 14 till 17)
009. College school: Sunway University College.
010. Hair colour: Brownish purple? lol.
011. Long or short: Not long enough for me. :P
012. Loud or Quiet: It depends on the situation and environment tht i'm in.
013. Sweats or Jeans: Depends. :P
014. Phone or Camera: Camera phone??
015. Health freak: Want to be, but never made it. xD
016. Drink or Smoke: depends. ;)
017. Do you have a crush on someone: will always have. (:
018. Eat or Drink: drink.
019. Piercings: five, lol.
020. Tattoos: none, sadly. but soonnnnnnn~~~
021. Social or Anti-Social: Depends. xD
022. Right or Left: Right.
023. First piercing: 10 years old.
024. First relationship: err..grade 1. :S
025. First Best Friend: 1 chinese girl tht named Venice, she turned out to be a bitch in the end
026. First Award: First grade. :D
027. First Kiss: Mom & Dad.
028. First Pet: A pet fish. hahaha.
029. First Big Vacation: Aussieeeee.
030. First Love at First Sight: i've-got-no-idea. lol.
031. First Big Birthday: when i was 10?? CHOY, NEERU, remember???
032. First Surgery: i dont think i've got any before.
033. First sport you joined: swimming. (:
034. Orange or Apple Juice: Orange. vitamin C!
035. Rock or Rap: BOTH.
036. Country or Scream: BOTH.
037. NSYNC or Backstreet boys: BOTH.
038. Britney spears or Christina Aguilera: Christi
039. Night or Day: Night.
040. Sun or Moon: Moon.
041. TV or Internet: BOTH.
042. PlayStation or xbox: BOTH. (okay, i'm seriously bad at making decisions. lol.)
043. Kiss or hug: both. (:
044. Iguana or turtle: turtleeee.
045. Spider or bee: spider, so i can be spidergirl! lol. lame, i know. -.-
046. Fall or spring: spring.
047. Limewire or iTunes: BOTH.
048. Soccer or baseball: neither.
049. Eating: air.
050. Drinking: coke.
051. Excitement level: normal for the moment. heh.
052. I'm about to: eat. lol.
053. Listening to: the fan and the birds chirping outside.
054. Plan for today: sit for my finals. then run naked in my college. loll. kidding.
055. Waiting for: the time to pass.
056. Energy level: normal. lol.
057. Thinking of someone: All day, everyday. (:
058. Want kids: yeap. who doesnt?! okay, fine, maybe some of you dont.
059. Want to get married: yeappp.
060. When: when the time comes.
061. How many kids do you want: 2. (a big WOW to von's answer. O.O)
062. Any name in mind: yeap, but i wont tell you. :P
063. What did you want to be when you were little: A police woman. :S
064. Careers in mind: none.
065. Mellow future or wild: depends. (:
066. Something you would never try: piercing my ahem.
067. When do you want to die: god knows.

Which is better in the boy/girl you like (in the future)?
068. Lips or Eyes: Eyes.
069. Romantic or Funny: romatically funny?
070. Shorter or Taller: Taller, definitely.
071. Protective or Caring: bothhhhhh.
072. Romantic or Spontaneous: Spontaneous.
073. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms: Nice arms, to keep me warm. (:
074. Sensitive or Loud: Sensitive.
075. Hooked-up or Relationship: Relationship!
076. Trouble Maker or Hesitant: depends. ;)
077. Muscular or Normal: normal, i dont really care actually. lol.

078. Kissed a stranger: when i was little. lol.
079. Broken a bone: noppp.
080. Lost glasses or contacts: all the time. -.-
081. Ran away from home: nopp.
082. Held a gun/knife for self defense: knife. lol.
083. Killed somebody: nobody.
084. Broken someone's heart: yeah, sorry.
085. Had your heart broken: most of the time.
086. Been arrested: Never, (:
087. Cried when someone died: what, you expect me to laugh? -.-
088. Liked a friend more than a friend: heh. likeddddd. not now. :P
089. Yourself: myselfff.
090. Miracles: maybe.
091. Love at first sight: yeapp.
092. Heaven: not really.
093. Santa Claus: nop, no chimneys in Malaysia.
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 5 people

anyone at all. (:

burningpiecesofpictures.

2009-07-22T04:27:00.003+08:00

its 5.45 a.m now.

okay,
this is going to be b-o-r-i-n-g
cause i dont have any pictures to post. :(

my finals are in less than 24hours.
not ready, like always.
but i did study. (:

my sem3 is coming.
4 subjects.
oh nooooo.

oh,
&yes, i dyed my hair. (:
i miss my light brown hair tho. :(

_________________________________________

its hard to explain the way i'm feeling.
i cant put it in words,
its just a feeling in me.

i dont know how to tell him.

dontgobreakingmyheart.

2009-07-19T03:58:00.002+08:00

I'M BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK !! (:
well, kind of. lol.

didnt post for such a long time cause i cant find for my cam's charger. ):
oh well,
stole a couple of pics from sonia. hehe.

i miss all of them. ):
INCLUDING JES.

sonia is the best at making funny faces. :P
neeru will never make it. -.-

anyway,
my semester is ending already. (:
withdrawn from my Theatre class.
(do not ask why. well, just ask if you're really curious.)

next week Wednesday is my FINALS.
studying. (:
later. heh.
maybe tomorrow or something..

i miss you Athirah!!
and thanks for the award. (:
will be posting it up soon!
watched Harry Potter already??

VANNA,
when are you going to dye your hair?!

SONIA,
i want to go mamak with you. ):

JESWENA,
better stay in my house next weekend,
wanna help you with your presentation. (:

HUIYEE,
sorry, i dont know what to say to you yet. hahaha.

tht's all for now. (:
sorry, its a short post. ):

p/s: YES, i'm still with him.
&YES, i do still love him very much.
&&YES, i miss him now. ):

nomatterwhatyoudoI'll loveyouallthesame.

2009-06-04T00:07:00.007+08:00

taken about an hour ago, i've finally bought the book! (:

my second semester started on Tuesday.
it was...okay. (was kind of proud tht i'm a 2nd sem student. :P cant wait till sem 6.)
i'm taking maths (compulsory) and theater.
was suppose to be taking theater with Shadhin, but she dropped it and took Geography with Jamie instead. TT
oh well, eventhough i hate being alone, i cant change to Geography,
i know i can do well in theater. xD
but in theater class, there is only 2 of us tht confirmed.
the other girl named Henna, i guess. lol.
if its not qualified, i guess i've got to take up sociology instead. heh.

okay,
i'm not suppose to show sonia and jes my hairstyle now,
but they've met me today already. lol.
i'm suppose to show them when i've finish coloring. -.-

my new sucky hairstyle,
&yes, i'm like sonia's twin. lol.

was on the way to my dad's friend's place to celebrate gawai day.
sonia, its Sarawakian not Sabahan!!! lol.

some of my dad's friends thought that i was sarawakian. -.-
my dad is not even one, why would i be? sheesh.

had rice wine. :D
home made!!! so it was really good.
&some african wine too.
but it tasted just like Bailey's (irish cream whiskey).
but it was good too! lol.

*coughs.
was showing off my new shoes. heh. :P

the book above is for my theater class (obviously).

the class was ending;

lecturer: so, any questions?
me: *looks around*
lecturer: no questions?
me: *put up right hand*
lecturer: yes??
me: can i take a picture of that textbook??
lecturer: *laughs* i dont know if this is a new way to find for books or something but you do know tht people usually search for books using the titles right?
me: no no, i know, but i just want to make sure. heh.
lecturer: *takes book, and posed with it.*
me: haha, very funny, gove me the book.
lecturer: are you japanese?
me: nooo. *grabs book*

its not weird to take pics of books right???
cause i've learnt my lesson before.
i bought the correct title but the wrong edition,
the "edition" part was so small!!
so i would just remember book covers from now on. :D

i know i looked weird. -.-
ATHIRAHHHHHHHH.
she's ditching Sunway College. lol.
dah takde teman for movies!!! :(
and theater class.
PLUS, her presenceeee. (awww. :P :P :P)

OH,
sonia came to college with me today. xD
how i wish she was really studying in my college. :(
it would be great!!

anyway,
we went to Sunway Pyramid after class. (my class. lol.)

i swear i wasnt ready! lol.

relaxed for a while in Pyramid,
then went to Asia Cafe. (:

met up with Ganesa.
i've got my fringe, so i cant really see properly..
i wanted to tell sonia that i saw one guy that looked like him,
and guess what?
it ended up being him. -.-
i'm not blind afterall!! xD

read my hand.
"I♥GANESA"
-.-
he did it! lol.
but i do love him. (:

he colored it darker later on.
but i was lazy to take a pic. heh. :P

believe me,
jes looks better in person,
WAY better.
its a compliment!!!! hahaha.

jes being all jacunn with her mouse. -.-
praveent waiting for someone to play pool with him.
hahaha.

he found my boyf in the end.
match made in heaven.
hahahahaha.
nooo, he is mine. lol.

i've got to practice playing pool.
lol.
i totally suck at it now.
i was wayy better 2 years ago. -.-
oh well, SONIA JES HUIYEE LET'S GO.
hahaha.
i've got to beat my boyf,
atleast once!!

i took alot of pictures of me and sonia in the car,
BUT many of them are really blur.
WHY?
cause of tht DRIVER.
hahaha. :P kidding kidding.
ganesa kept putting my hand down when i want to take a pic. lol.
over and over again. -.-
so everytime he grabs my hand,
this was what happened;

i take pictures of him instead!!
hahahha.

believe me,
there is way more. hahaha.

hope to hang out with sonia and jes on friday.
&ofcourse, him too. ♥

tht's all for now. (:
__________________________________________________________

do not leave me behind in your shadow,
i do not want to be alone,
i do not like the darkness,
i want to love you,
like i did before.

he is asleep now,
how i wish i was there next to him,
just by looking at him sleeping,
would make me smile like a little girl,
that peaceful face,
makes my heart miss a beat,
i cant believe that he is mine,
i love him. ♥